@PeopleLikeUs ..I'm trying to explain why guys dont go the distance and send out a big original message at the start. I do not argue with your statement.. can you see the point?
My argument is she shouldn't ignore a guy for not sending out that big message..
@mattcuds maybe so. Yes, pros are in business! I feel like I'm developing that and I'm really feeling lucky.
Somewhat agree with @Snugglewithme80.
I always write something specific from their profile and/or in an image.
tumbleweeds
I'll never write "hi" "hey" or "how are you" because it's not my style.
But "most men not reading profiles" and "most women not replying" is common knowledge on here.
Thank you @chococuddles
You and I both go out of our way to relate to the person we message and find something to have an interest yet nothing in return.
@Snugglewithme80
This is straying a bit from the original topic, so I’ll keep it brief.
You know that you’re not owed anything, right?
This isn’t aimed solely at you. This applies to everyone who seems to think that they are entitled to responses, or certain kinds of responses.
Back on topic: it appears that a number of people have taken issue with the OP having standards. How odd.
But, then again, it’s also odd to pose questions (which one already has answers to) in a thinly-veiled rant about something commonplace.
I am fully aware of that. I am just making the point that the poster wants more than just "Hi" and there are guys like myself that do go out of their way to send an actual message. I'm not some millennial that feels everything is owed to me. I was making the point that I can see why other guys only say :Hi, how are you?' or something basic because the return rate of a reply is low to begin with.
“I am just making the point that the poster wants more than just "Hi" and there are guys like myself that do go out of their way to send an actual message.”
And yet, I’m sure the OP is still irked by lazy messages. Your point seems altogether pointless. Unless your being an exemplar is meant to inspire, and to nullify negative experiences?
Happy Holidays White Knight. The OP is irked by lazy messages yet they never state what they bring to the table. That is just as lazy as being on a dating app and 90% of the women saying "Pay me" and expecting it. '' Most people want others to put the work in but don't want to do so in return. No offense to the OP as I have not personally been messaged by them.
“The OP is irked by lazy messages yet they never state what they bring to the table.”
Are you aware of how criticism works?
“Most people want others to put the work in but don't want to do so in return.”
How many members of this site have you contacted?
At least 50-60 since rejoining the site. I don't expect more than a 5% return of messages. What I am making a point on is that for the profiles that demand to say more than "Hi" do they send a message with more than that word.
I sometimes visit a profile that just catches my eye on the home page despite being in a far away state. Sometimes they will actually message back because they saw that I visited and guess what their message says "Hey, what's up?" Even thought I don't like that short message I'm still respectful enough to reply back with a polite message. It is just common decency which the human race has lost in the digital age.
@ hogboblin How many have you contacted or met in person?
I think your profile gets across your ideas well without being rude at all. Possibly some people want to exchange greetings before going into substance though.
Edit: some people may be slightly embarrassed to be on here and thus hesitant on a site like this to give out a lot of info about themselves at the beginning, too.
I understand your want of having something interesting or unique that may catch your attention, but on the opposite end of the specturm I don't believe it's fair because you probably don't have to reach out to men (or whomever).
I'll start with a hi, how are you and if I get a response back, then we can go from there. I believe, to open up with something creative and unqiue for the other person to decide if that's interesting enough to get a response back can fuel an insecurity or feeling of rejection.
What happened to common courtesy that if someone says hi you say hi back? If you're not interested, then state you're not interested but just being ignored is plain rude.
“It is just common decency which the human race has lost in the digital age.”
Hm. Right.
“How many have you contacted or met in person?”
I’ve been contacted more than I’ve contacted others. Specifically, 38 of the 43 conversations in my inbox have been started by others. Usually, the person is interested in something that I wrote in the forum. I’m not an overly social person, so this suits me.
I haven’t met up with anyone yet. It’s likely a good thing that I’m not dying for touch. Maybe, one day, a pro will be within close proximity to me. That would be nice.
I feel as if I’ve derailed this thread enough.
My best wishes to those of you who expect deference from strangers.
I try to say more than hello how are you . It doesn't have to be a novel or even anything at all about myself . It is usually something directed towards the person like welcome to the site , hope you are doing well today , or a comment about a post they made . I have pretty good success too with messaging and meeting folks , so there might be something to be said about making an effort when messaging folks....
@Babichev...the actions you have taken and much of the content of your original post, makes you a jerk. even borderline narcissistic. i believe that many of those that have reached out, and had no response from you because they did not meet your criteria, will probably feel alienated...if they find this thread and even care to read through your entire post, lol.
“Hi” or “Hello” or “How are you?”, are not greetings that come from stupid or lazy or incomprehensible individuals...but from those that are courteous and respectful.
my advise...be nice to everyone, unless they’re a jerk with you.
@hogboblin
Well we won't agree with each other but I do wish you all the best.
I respond to a lot but not all. I don't think some folks realize how inundated us nonpro women are with messages. If I started a conversation with everyone who messages me "Hi" or "How are you?" or "Want to cuddle tonight?" I'd have to quit my day job. And I'm an older woman with a skeleton for a photo! However, I do try and respond as much as I can. I realize it's vulnerable to reach out and that the onus is largely on the fellows because of the ratio here, and I feel for you all. However, I'm not rejecting someone's soul, face, or manhood when I don't respond--I'm just inundated.
My age range is also clear in my profile, so message me at your own risk if you're outside of it -- I may not respond. And with the wealth of messages and no way to file them, sometimes someone's message just gets plain buried, even if I was planning to respond. There are also lots of lonely folks on here who just want chat buddies. I do maintain some of those connections because the people are dear and I like having friends who are doing this thing. It's fun. Honestly, all the people on here are worthy of lots of things, chat buddies, responses, oodles of cuddles, but I'm just one small human and can only participate so much.
Also, I'm on here for a particular reason - I want to find a few peeps who want to be my regular cuddle buddies. I don't have time for lots of arranging, meeting, screening, snuggling unless it's to serve that and I'm looking for a particular sort of human for that. At some point I may be more focused on snuggling a lot with lots of different folks, but my life right now limits how much I can participate here.
I don't have a need to get pissy at any of you for doing it differently than I do, wanting different things, etc.. We're all human after all, trying to do our human thing, and we all do it differently. Some of us are good at reading the fine print, some of us know how to converse with a stranger, some of us are desperate for a cuddle and just want to see if there's someone alive out there.
Love all around.
...
The important thing is we've met our weekly quota of "write more, guys/reply back, girls" threads.
Happy to be alive.
Hi, reply to this post. Thank you
@FunCartel
I don't owe you anything therefore I will not be replying.
oops.
Let's just change it to a swipe left/right app so we all know where we stand.
@chococuddles Now you have forced me to start a thread on how other cuddlers have rejected me.
@Babichev Your not being a jerk. Whether it’s relationships, cuddling or going to work everyday, we must all put our best food forward. Clearly stated presentation is very important. What women wants to cuddle or date a man, that does not present well or cannot complete certain simple tasks, with effort.
Most guys arent reading ppls profile get over it LOL damn
-dont judge me for my opinion-
Am I being a jerk if I send a polite, cordial, and responsive note to someone and I do t even get a response?? I can see that they visited my profile. Like really??? You don’t have to say yes but at least be polite and say no. That is more rude than someone not responding the way you want them to.
There are billions of people in the world, and we have a small percentage of free time, for a few short years, to reach out to them. That means we have almost no chance of finding the person who would really make us happy, in whatever way we are seeking. Back in the Middle Ages, when our contact circle was the dozens of people in our village, we could take time with each, to find the mutual best one of them ; but being able to search the world, naturally will need some sort of "mechanical" process. I'm told that if a female posts on any "connection" site, that they want someone who is (e g.) left-handed, they are inundated with responses of "I'm not left-handed, but. . . ." Anyone who says the OP must interact with people in a specific way, hasn't noticed the #MeToo movement. If they ask for a type of response, and you give a different type, don't be upset if they don't reply at all. Maybe the site could allow people to set up chatbots, which would do the first few interactions, with short messages giving responses that politely ask for more information, but we've seen how bad AI is. If we want a human response, we should be prepared to invest more. How about making a standard note of about a hundred words, that you modify slightly for the person you are contacting, then paste that into the App.
There are a lot of men blaming not bothering to put forth an effort on the women not responding or giving them attention . Understand that your attitude you project and not bothering to put forth an effort is ultimately making your lack of success here worse, not better, and that is not the fault of other people.