Hi Maria. I don’t typically remark in any of these forum discussions but I felt compelled to based on your sincere and heartfelt concerns. I looked at and read your profile. If anyone actually reads it you make it very clear that you’re not a pro and genuinely want and need the cuddles for yourself as much as the men do. Your responses to him were very kind, respectful and adult. As others have said here he seems to have his own personal issue that truly have nothing to do with you. Especially since he’s never met and doesn’t know you. In your bio you seem very sweet, honest and genuine. And yes you’re very attractive so receiving a plethora of cuddle requests is no surprise. However, again as others have said in so many words, you have the complete right to choose exactly whom you want and wish to cuddle with. You also have the complete right to have specific requests of your own to ensure your comfort level and most importantly your safety. This particular man seems like he’s so used to cuddling with pros who will in most cases, abide by his requests primarily because he is paying for their cuddle service. That’s fine if the pro wants to comply with that and it’s also perfectly fine if she has a simple request like asking for a picture. I also prefer a bit of privacy here on the site but I’m always happy to send, and actually always do, a picture once I’ve confirmed the cuddle session. The bottom line is you have the right to and always should make sure your cuddle experiences here are pleasant, therapeutic and enjoyable each and every time. For you! If I lived in your area I would be honored to spend some platonic cuddle time with you and happily send you a pic. If for any reason you didn’t want to cuddle with me after seeing my pic, I would simply say no problem and leave it at that. No harm done:). Good luck with you future cuddles😊
Damn I know some darn attractive over 60s and they generally have maturity to boot.
Hmmm, IG is PaidtobeHappy? Specific appointments to cuddle with peeps she's never met? Hmmmm. Not a typical nonpro.
I don’t think it is wrong to ask for a photo at all. I also think it’s perfectly ok to ask for a photo and a meeting in public first. If you are going to be in a private situation with someone it’s perfectly acceptable to know what they look like and that they are who they say they are. I don’t put my photo in my public profile but I always share with a potential and hope the same from them. It’s about developing trust and seeing if two people want to share time with one another.
Being platonic to me does not mean that I am not attracted to them. I think people are attractive in plenty of ways. People have beautiful hearts, beautiful minds and of course beautiful looks. I like to associate with all the above. What I view as beautiful might not be what someone else sees as beautiful. That doesn’t make someone shallow in my opinion it makes us human. 🤷🏻♂️ Just my 50 cents worth.
@PlayWithMyHair You are right. You can set your boundaries, and comfort levels. You can choose who to cuddle with, and who not to cuddle based on physical attraction, and based on your needs. However, saying that you're too busy because you run this huge company wasn't necessary in my opinion. If the guy was being pushy a " Im not interested" would have been enough. If he continued that behavior then block.
Just a suggestion: Ask for a photo and a conversation to make sure there's "chemistry". Same result but potentially less drama or butthurt
...I feel like there might be too much benefit of the doubt going on here. Male, female, or intersex, non-ace people have a tendency to only say "attracted" when they mean "sexually attracted."
No matter who you are, you don't have the right to choose only cuddle buddies you're drawn to sexually (or romantically, come to that): not on a platonic site. This isn't the place for that. You do have a perfect right to pick cuddle buddies based on absolutely every other type of attraction in the world. But not the two non-platonic ones.
Pick people you're comfortable with personality-wise, people you're drawn to look at, people you don't feel physically uncomfortable with, people who smell nice—whatever, on whatever range from "not repulsed by" to "actually drawn to" you like, so long as sex doesn't enter the picture.
Whether you're male, female, or intersex, rich or poor, any gender on the face of the planet: if you're picking only cuddle buddies you're sexually attracted to, you're doing it wrong.
Beating a dead horse here, but you did NOTHING wrong.....outside of explaining yourself WAY too much. You dont owe anyone an explanation for the criteria you use to determine if someone is a match for you. Like many others, I'm VERY curious as to why he is so hell bent on not sending a pic. I feel like there's something that he's so self concious about that he feels the only way he can get women to meet him is by committing to meet FIRST. I'm very strict on needing to see one's eyes before even carrying on a conversation. My profile states as much, so I'll respond only past my first request for a photo before shutting the conversation down completely. I won't budge on that - nor will I explain why I need that connection.
You don't owe anyone an explanation for the criteria you use to determine if someone is a match for you unless you're using the criteria of sexual attractiveness... and in that case, come to think of it, it's not an explanation you owe: it's an apology.
And yes, for Pete's sake, if you're thinking about meeting someone, send them a picture. Basic safety, at the very least.
@DarrenWalker You make some good points but I took it more to mean 'drawn to look at' or 'drawn to'. I gravitate towards partners who look warm and inviting, with a great smile or even 'wow I bet they hug really good'. I choose, however, only after reviewing the profile and communicating. I need to feel a connection and how someone looks and presents themselves impacts that.
@PlayWithMyHair New suggestion: Say you need a pic for safety reasons but also to gauge chemistry (avoid using 'attraction'). You did or said nothing wrong with the idjit who blocked you, and in fact probably dodged a bullet. If someone balks at sending a pic, don't even ask again or get in a back and forth as they may not respect your boundaries. Their goal should be to make you both feel comfortable and confirm you have compatible ideas of what you want out of the cuddle session. Thanks for posting your question. It's not easy to be vulnerable but the discussion makes the community a better place.
@WiseTraveler: An attraction is a draw. The question is how you're being drawn—platonically? Or non-platonically? If your attraction is platonic, you're fine. But no one has a right to pick cuddle buddies on the basis of non-platonic attraction, and so I can't help but wonder what type of attraction @PlayWithMyHair is using to pick her buddies.
Platonic? Or non-platonic?
(That is the question.)
@littermate I’m puzzled why someone on a public forum would put their personal IG in their profile esp when they have kids...
@2dogmom
I’m puzzled why someone on a public forum would put their personal IG in their profile esp when they have kids...
After reading comments and doing some Sherlock Holmes work...I'm starting to wonder the same thing now. I should have researched more before commenting, but something doesn't seem entirely right here.
Maybe i should turn the light on a review. There are some real questions here
@2dogmom 👏🏻👏🏻Good catch girl!! 🧐🧐
@luv2cudl2 (I have no idea how to reply so I hope that tag works) - Im not sure what twisted people you have encountered but if you want me to send you his obituary then I will. Tomorrow will be 5 months, not that you should judge anyone’s timeline. Instead, how about you give people the benefit of the doubt. I write a play by play of what happens because I don’t have time (or the inclination) to repeat myself over and over and this keeps me transparent and helps set expectations. It’s sick that you think I’d making up my boyfriend dying or that I created a fake conversation to then ask people about.
@PlayWithMyHair says, "It’s sick that you think I’d making up my boyfriend dying or that I created a fake conversation to then ask people about."
Sadly, there are sick people in the world, and they do things like that. It's unfortunate that folks have to be wary of that kind of behavior, but there it is.
I just got back and read the recent comments- what on earth is the problem with my IG being on here? I’m meeting people, I don’t hide my identity. If I’m being naive then let me know but I put my IG to legitimize who I am so people are comfortable. What kind of conspiracy are you people creating?
@PlayWithMyHair: Being so open that you're willing to let complete strangers know basically where you live and have a look at your kids is... well, it's either super confident or super naive (or possibly both). Unless you've got your privacy settings set so no one can see your profile unless they're logged in, it's not just users of the site who'll be getting that info!
Also, scammers sometimes like to create seemingly intimate data caches to share with folks. To make themselves seem legitimate, you know... and they're typically real eager to share that "private" information.
Thus it is that an innocent can seem like a predator.
There is a reason you create avatars or screen names to protect yourself. There could be a Ukrainian using you information for some nefarious reasons now.
I guess I’m just not understanding what someone can do with my IG handle. I’ll take it out of my profile based on your suggestions but now it’s in some people’s comments and I can’t change that. I guess I’m just naive. I want people knowing who I am so they have a clear picture and can feel comfortable with me. I appreciate the feedback though. Editing my profile now. Thanks
Just advise i think, do you
Not gonna lie, now I’m all freaked out thinking I’ve been giving out too much info compared to everyone else. This site hasn’t been working out too well for me anyway so I’m going to delete my account but it’s nice to know that I didn’t do anything wrong while I was on here.
To the gentleman that said I deserve this guy an apology because I am only cuddling people I am attracted to...I disagree BUT I see your point and appreciate your feedback.
To everyone else- Happy Cuddling
Well, @PlayWithMyHair, with your Instagram handle people can find your Instagram.
And then they can, you know, look at your Instagram. Which means seeing you, your kids, the places you hang out... and then, if they want, they can take those pictures and pretend to be you... or they could stalk and kidnap you or your kids. It's not like everyone on the face of the Internet is a terrible person, but there are a few of them out there and they do go after people who make it easy to get a lot of info about them, so why make it easy?
That's the dilemma we all face pretty much everywhere in life: how can we be open enough that others feel safe around us, but also closed enough that we don't get taken advantage of? Basically, you have to make your own call.
So long as you aren't picking buddies based on how sexy you think they are, I wish you luck on the site!
Don’t leave because of comments. Just reply
Nicely done, everyone. You judged her and chased her away from the site. Excellent work.
@StoryDoctor1138: Dang, I don't know where you keep getting these gifs, but every time you post one it doesn't even matter if I disagree with you—the confounded gif just makes me feel happy.
@StoryDoctor1138 yes sir, it was very well done! 1 Less non-pro on the site.
She literally said “what kind of conspiracy are you guys creating here” 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
You guys are a tough crowd man
@StoryDoctor1138 +1 on the GIF
The OP deactivated