I was attacked on a dating site by someone who also happened to be gay because I wouldn't give "being with a man" a try.
I don't know what it is about people who believes others should be like them.
Dear All. May be this is off post a bit, It is so good to see people expressing there thoughts and in such a good way, Nice and funny. To try and answer the post, it is all down the way we each, what to live our lives, I have chosen not to see the being as man/women/cat/dog/tree, I see them as a living soul and in joining with them by contact/touch. I do not feel anybody, needs or has to change there feelings, they are yours and personal, The world is a very big place let us enjoy being here and cuddle/hug/ and touch everything.
Love peace and happiness. John and his friends Auckland NZ.
Hey guys, thank you for your answers so far! Just remember - talking about these preferences puts us in a vulnerable position sometimes, so be very kind
I didn't know this has been discussed before, I didn't mean to open a controversy. I'm definitively guilty of believing / hoping that all feel like I do - that's why I've asked in the first place. Again, thank you for all your answers
One more aspect is, for me, that cuddling is a way for me to make someone feel safe. I don't have much of a drive to make men feel safe, but for women I care about and children, it's a strong motivator for me. Since I don't generally cuddle other people's children, that leaves women.
Also men are hairy and kinda gross.
You got that right. I don't even like to stand too close to men in a crowded concert hall..... ewwww..
I'm Pan and attracted to feminine energy so I've cuddled with male(very effeminate), female and trans.
As I said before, personal preference. All the society standard psycho-babble is nonsense to me. I'm not going to judge a guy who doesn't want to cuddle with another guy as I wouldn't want him judging me for cuddling with a femboi who's more feminine than most of the women I've cuddled with.
We are who we are and we like what we like.
Approval not needed.
I would never cuddle with a guy. Too weird.
I'd cuddle men even if my sexuality was different...
I've just been reading through y'alls answers, here's what I've learned so far:
Affection, sexual attraction and cuddle preferences: "a lot of people only cuddle with the sex they're sexually attracted to", "I'd cuddle men even if my sexuality was different"
Feeling something doesn't mean you know the reason, have a reason (or need a reason): "can't really explain it aside from just not feeling right about it", "simply not interested", "personal preference", "Women to me were gifted with that magnetism to be held", "female touch ... always feels soothing", "too weird"
Past bad experiences: "Had bad experiences cuddling men from this site so never again. Haha.", "I was attacked on a dating site by someone who also happened to be gay because I wouldn't give "being with a man" a try." (
Society: "Men are often raised not to show much physical affection for one another. ... A prolonged intimate physical contact with another man is often going against decades of habit."
Other: "My opinion of men in general is pretty low, so I guess I just don't trust them", "cuddling is a way for me to make someone feel safe. I don't have much of a drive to make men feel safe" (wow, never thought about that!), "men are hairy and kinda gross."
This topic may be a difficult one: "has been discussed before in other threads, ... it always ends up with one or more enlightened folk suggesting that everyone else has a problem", "I don't know what it is about people who believes others should be like them."
Cuttlefishes and sharks:
Anyways, I don't want to over-analyze what I've read, but I'm grateful to read these things in your voice!
"We are who we are and we like what we like. Approval not needed."
Have a nice day y'all
At only cuddle party I've been to there was just 3 men left with no female partners to do next part of session. Me and another lad duelled up n other 1 had female helper to facilitator buddy up with him - so was down to cuddle this other man that not seen b4 afternoon started and fortunately it was part of time where we had backs to each other - relief.!.
For me, I've cuddled with both straight and gay guys, both straight and gay girls, and bi of each. I do tend to prefer cuddling with girls more as I'm generally more comfortable with them, after that gay guys can be a bit more relaxed to cuddle with as straight guys tend to be more tense cuddling with another straight guy. My take on that is a lot of straight guys don't know how to open up and be that relaxed around another guy. Nothing wrong with that as any cuddling takes a level of trust and comfort that for many aren't used to except maybe with a specific gender.
I tend to pick up on vibes of the people I'm around and if it's just me and another straight guy to cuddle with, depending on the level of closeness we have with each other, we may or may not vibe to cuddle. Same goes with any gender or sexual orientation... if we vibe well, I'm open to cuddle.
I used to do platonic cuddling with straight cis men but I find the majority of guys who are attracted to women will find it hard to view the situation as completely platonic. They may not act on their feelings but they usually feel some attraction, and that makes me uncomfortable unless the feeling is mutual. So these days I prefer to just cuddle men if there is potential for a dating relationship and I feel some attraction as well.
I'd be quite happy to do platonic cuddling with women though, as I feel women have an easier time viewing the cuddling as platonic regardless of their orientation. I'm also open to cuddling non-cisgender people and my experiences with them have varied, but the only people who have expressed interest in cuddling with me are non-cis people who were male assigned at birth.
Oh and like others have said, most men smell kinda funny. Even if they wear deodorant and have good hygiene, I find men in general have stronger natural scents than women and are less pleasant.
@SunFlowerField I've only cuddled a pro on here and it felt like a business transaction. Nothing more. That doesn't mean I didn't enjoy it. Sometimes I just need a hug even if I have to pay for it. It's nearly impossible to even get a reply from non-pros.
I try to take shoer just b4 starting planned cuddling session, but time in-between, could be walk so natural smells start.!.
@Mike403 yeah I've found most people don't reply either on websites like this. Finding a platonic cuddle buddy can take a long time.
I get replies, both paid cuddlers and non paid, but not from everyone. I usually just try to make small talk and be friendly. Cuddling rarely even enters the conversation, as I rarely ever see anyone in my town on here. I have heard complaints from some of the folks who I speak with on here that they are a little weirded out if someone they don't really know anything about just out of the blue wants to go meet for a cuddle, or start to come on strong. Even though this is a cuddle site its important to still remember that most people aren't going to want to just drive across town to hop in bed or sofa or what have you to snuggle with someone they don't know, and some of the women on here are getting the impression from men that this is the expectation.
I cuddle with my male dog, does that count? He is a big 80 pound hunk.
There's some difference that I can't exactly identify, but I somehow just find females more comforting and easier to bond with, and I get uncomfortable being too close to guys although I'm not sure why.
I'm a very affectionate person and bro hug my guy friends and family members all the time. I have a couple of buddies that I can have deep talks with. I'm in a men's group where we have unfiltered talks and it helps immensely because ultimately it's another man that can relate to me. I enjoy time with the boys, it's needed and it's great. An intimate cuddle session however with prolonged touching, I need that to be with a female. It's my personal preference but as I said above, in my personal life and in my humble opinion, close relationships with both sexes are very much needed.
The idea of any kind of physical intimacy with another male makes me uncomfortable, so for that reason, I will not cuddle with another man. If anyone doesn't like it... I won't apologize for who I am...
Ill be a brat and say i dont even really like hugging other women unless they are family or very close friend. There is just something about being with a man. Its the contrast, different feel...smell. For me cuddling is a "safe" place...i just dont find that with women.
i've never thought about it. i guess i'm concerned about boundaries. cuddling does turn me on, but that doesn't mean i want to move forward. i've cuddled guys, and had a slew of one night cuddles with women, and personally, i've found men can't keep the line up. don't get me wrong, fun times had by all. but if i wanted something sexual, the are better places than a cuddle site. women on the other hand almost never break the rules we set before. and to be honest, i've never met a man i'd call nurturing. firmly believe women have a knack for snuggles.
Thanks for saving me a lot of typing, Quietman775. Amen, brother. Can't explain why touching men doesn't interest me, and I find the thought that it's something I need to explain amusing.
Really when it comes to personal preference it should be non debatable. We can say all day long why what someone likes or dislikes should could or would be different. But that is them, not you. Cant project your own personal interested onto another, nor should they have to defend their interests. Cuddle who you want and prefer, and don't consider that you should have to explain yourself.
It simple women have nack for cuddling ..they smell good soft smooth skin they made to be held ...men not so ! I hetero so my brain says female ....
"i've never thought about it. i guess i'm concerned about boundaries. cuddling does turn me on, but that doesn't mean i want to move forward. i've cuddled guys, and had a slew of one night cuddles with women, and personally, i've found men can't keep the line up. don't get me wrong, fun times had by all. but if i wanted something sexual, the are better places than a cuddle site. women on the other hand almost never break the rules we set before. and to be honest, i've never met a man i'd call nurturing. firmly believe women have a knack for snuggles."
Yeah, this is why I prefer cuddling ladies as well. :P I do think some men can be nurturing, though.
Hm. That's an interesting question. I have thought of this before. I personally would prefer the opposite sex. Just a preference.
Though if I think about it, if it were to be a guy, it would be an exceptionally rare occasion and there is only two guys in the world I could think of that I would be willing. Even then, I would feel reluctant.
I would think attractions to other sexes would be a big factor. As far as I know, I do consider myself straight, cause I find myself only perusing the opposite sex. Though considering my thoughts earlier, there might be a tinge of curiosity.
It would be kind of nice if I was more comfortable, because when you consider someone is comfortable with both sexes, it would open up a much larger window of availability. Especially someone that loves to cuddle so much.
Unfortunately, I think I would mostly feel uncomfortable, solely biased on sexual preference, even when there is no romantic intention.
Still. This is someone I feel is worth considering, cause I think it's good to get people thinking about this. I like the way society has progressed, being far more open minded.
Hmm, for me I think there are some guys I'd cuddle with... just the majority aren't ones I feel like being close to in that way. I still do hugs and whatnot, though.
That said I rarely even hug or cuddle anyone, so...
"i dont even really like hugging other women unless they are family or very close friend." That sounds normal to me. I'm sure you don't go around randomly hugging men you don't know, either, even though hugging men is your preference.
At one time I had a large amount of gay friends and acquaintances (all now dead from HIV). Some were transvestites. We were all very affectionate with each other. Once a gay woman wanted to hug me and give me an open mouthed kiss, and she knew that I am hetero. That made me a little uncomfortable, and I passed. But I have no aversion to hugging or cuddling anyone platonically. We're all human beings, we all need hugs. For me, it brings out my nurturing instincts. I can understand how same sex cuddling could be an issue for hetero men.
" i've never met a man i'd call nurturing." I have. They are out there.