I need advice

cashman21cashman21
edited July 2024 in General

I’ve been on this site for a couple months, occasionally checking it and messaging people. But I’ve only gotten one response back. I’m wondering if I’m doing something wrong or not doing something that I should be doing. When I message the people I just say hi, how are you or hi, just wanting to introduce myself to the platform, how are you. I’m not saying anything inappropriate or rude, I’m just trying to get a conversation started. Any Any advice?

Comments

  • ShakeShake

    Moving this to the General forum for you. It'll get more attention here, & this isn't really a cuddle request.

  • [Deleted User]TallDarkNTender (deleted user)

    Oh good. I'm not alone. LoL I've had very sparse interactions through the years. Never once was I able to get a cuddle locked down. Like you, just being brief and friendly. I just thought there wasn't as much interest in Knoxville.

  • cheeseboycheeseboy Mod
    edited July 2024

    Dislcaimer - I use "You" in a general sense, and not a specifically @Cashman21 sense of it.

    From my experience on the site as a cuddler and a moderator, I can tell you that enthusiasts (non-professionals) are absolutely bombarded with messages -- To the point that it becomes overwhelming and many messages don't ever get opened if they are a simple one-line greeting message that doesn't really show that you read their profile or put much thought into the opening message. While this does take time, sending a message that shows that you took the time to make a personalized message (more than Hi < username > ) and wrote something about one of their interests, favorite movie or tv show, or attraction in the town they live in does actually get a response more than a generic message.

    From the moderating side, I see countless "Hi" or "Heyyy" or "You available?" or "Let's Cuddle" messages that go un responded to. Giving out a phone number in a first message has a desperation stench to it. Trying to take conversation directly offsite is a red flag.

    If they don't have their profile filled out, I usually don't bother to message them since I don't know that we'd be compatible beyond the initial shared interest of cuddling.

    Conversation techniques that give them something to respond to, to solicit more of a response than a statement, tend to also keep the conversation going. The big thing here is to show them that you would be able to keep a conversation going if you were to meet up for a cuddle. Not saying you have to be prepared to talk for 2 hours. Awkwardness and lack of confidence do come across in messages. An offer to meet in public can also make others more comfortable before diving into a private setting. A good technique that I have used in the past was to offer to go see a movie in a theater. Prepare to cover the ticket cost and snacks. This gives you some time for chatting before the movie starts, and then quiet cuddling time. Offer a specific movie that is similar to any interests they list or from the same genre as their favorite movie.

    If your budget allows for paying a professional cuddler for their time, that incentive makes a difference (do not offer money to non-professionals here). Being more direct about what you're trying to set up will save several back-and-forth messages. "Hi, I'm interested in setting up a cuddle session, I can host in the afternoons on the south side of Austin or I can come to you during the morning or afternoons on weekdays" -- Something like this answers many questions in one message (Host/Guest, implied in-person/not virutal session, time of day, days of week, your ability to travel or host). If you are traveling to an area, mention that, where you're from and what dates you'll be visiting their area ("July 20-23" is better than the vagueness of "Saturday through Tuesday")

    I hope some of this helps.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    I just thought there wasn't as much interest in Knoxville.

    There is if you are young and can sing “Rocky Top” in tune.

  • wanacuddle85wanacuddle85

    Are you messaging pros or enthusiasts?

    If you’re trying to get the attention of an enthusiast, that from my reading is fairly hard to do, there is not as many of them as pros. I’m sure they get bombarded with messages.. in this case I would beef your profile up. There was nothing about you really, it’s great you said why you want to cuddle but other than that there’s nothing. Try putting some hobbies ideal cuddle situations. Do you prefer to cuddle on the couch and watch a movie? What kind of movies are you into? Do you prefer to cuddle laying in a bed with soft music put a little bit more beef up your profile. Add a couple great pics and hopefully you will have better luck. If you don’t, don’t get discouraged enthusiasts are way out numbered here.

  • achetocuddleachetocuddle

    Dear guys who want more success on cc,
    Just saying hi or the equivalent doesn't start a convo. No enthusiast is interested in that. Not to be harsh, but anyone can just say hi. Write what your interests are in About Me section. Describe yourself; your inside, not your outside. Say what you like about cuddling and what you can bring to the table.

    Hopefully you are interested in more than the looks of the people you are messaging. If that is the case, write why you are interested in them. Doesn't have to be eloquent, just honest.

  • MorpheusMorpheus

    With a name like @cashman21 I would think you’d be popular.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    You, and many lurkers, may find these threads helpful:

  • achetocuddleachetocuddle

    I hoped Duncan or someone was paying attention and would provide the good links :)

  • JasonCuddlesJasonCuddles

    You're doing things perfectly fine. Low effort means you can keep going as you are for years without burnout from having low return on your effort.

    The next step for low effort involvement, if you wish to add a small amount of effort, would be to respond to something in the person's profile to show that you've read it.

    If things go for you as they did me it could be a couple years before you meet your first compatible cuddle buddy. This seems normal to me.

  • rob111rob111

    When you do meet someone it will be amazing

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    @cheeseboy
    I appreciate your comment, it describes exactly what would get my interest. Most messages I receive are just “hi how are you “. Very empty. They don’t know me at all so do they care how I am? lol
    Also, I have very specific info in my profile that would explain my current situation for cuddling. But none of them read it. I get a lot of 25-year-olds saying - hey you wanna cuddle tonight? It’s just laughable. seriously? Especially that age difference is a dealbreaker for me.

  • JoyfulHeartJoyfulHeart

    Speaking of effort, a long elaborate message that is cut-and-pasted to a dozen or more people doesn't count as effort.

    That is something that moderators run across when investigating reports. It tends to lower a person's credibility when I see it.

    Life has shown me that we value things most when they come to us through honest effort.

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    The mods are all over this one. ✨️ @cheeseboy's first three paragraphs were especially spot-on!

    For me, if I get a really low-effort message like, "Hi", "What's up?", or "Can we cuddle?", I put the same amount of energy back out. I'll respond, "Hey", "Good, you?", or point them to my cuddle process within my profile.

    I thoroughly enjoy writing novels back and forth with those who inspire me, but to get to that side of me, you have to give me a reason to engage.

    Sometimes that reason is here on the boards or in your profile, and I'll approach you. If your profile is blank or very sparse, you need to recognize that what you choose to write in your messages is your last chance to give anyone a reason to be interested. 🫤

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

    🦄 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Fiend 🐘 Animal Lover

    Happy summer vibes! 🐬 🎹

  • KozyKimKozyKim

    @cheeseboy your reply is genius!!!

  • CuddlyKind7CuddlyKind7

    Generally helps if you’re attractive. It is what is. People treat attractive people better.

  • TxTomTxTom

    Try using this as your avatar...

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    @CuddlyKind7
    Being attractive is like a good movie trailer... It may entice people to go see the movie, but if it's a crappy movie, no one's gonna buy it.

    Attraction quickly dies, if the person is unkind.

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

    🦄 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Fiend 🐘 Animal Lover

    Happy summer vibes! 🐬 🎹

  • CuddlyKind7CuddlyKind7

    @SunsetSnuggles I don’t disagree but no one goes to watch the movie if it’s a crappy trailer 🤷🏾‍♂️

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    @CuddlyKind7
    That would be where sleeper hits come in. 😄

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

    🦄 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Fiend 🐘 Animal Lover

    Happy summer vibes! 🐬 🎹

  • IronicMaidenIronicMaiden

    @SunsetSnuggles Sleeping with someone is always a hit with me. :smile:

    Yes, I mean that literally.

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