Cuddling is so new, that if we asked our parents about it, they would say we are insane. So it's about half a generation old if that. How would the church view our new point of view? Cheating would assume that there is a rule broken. How do we categorize this behavior in a way that allows both parties to roll around on the bed guilt free? (I'm joking here) but we are rolling around in the bed with a new person in our lives, for the feeling. ...and it's therapy
Cuddling challenges everything we know in our society. We have to pause our lives to participate, mostly. It is freeing. But why? We're tapping into something we've always needed but the rules of behavior that hold families together won't permit it.
Yea so Cuddling cannot be, outside of an existing relationship, if we use current definitions. It's a strange new relationship microwaved. You get everything good compressed in a very short period of time. Like a Charlie Brown Christmas short.
The Genie is out. It appears to be something we need. And we need it, because we are on this website daily. Think about that.
I'm reminded of that infant eating the Popeyes chicken, (have you seen it?) but he's not sure what it is. When we see that, we feel something, we want to help but we can't stop laughing. Yeah it's cheating.
If you feel you have to do this behind your partner's back, you obviously already know they won't approve of it. So you have sort of answered your own question. Doesn't matter if you think it's cheating or not - only matters if THEY do. (And if you think about it - how many people have you seen on CC who seem to struggle with the idea that this is supposed to be just platonic? Given that, why would you believe an outsider is going to buy that?)
There are several men here on the forums who cannot inform or get consent from their partners who have memory/cognitive issues. Exceptions? Of course! That's exactly why this isn't a yes/no question.
This is probably a question Best suited for the spouse or the partner. No one can really answer that question but them. Would you be upset if they were cuddling Somebody without telling you?
It really depends on the dynamic of the relationship. I’ve noticed more than a few professional cuddlers that will Take a married person as a client I believe.
Serious related question, I would legitimately like an answer because I have no first hand (or even second hand) knowledge regarding this subject…
Is cuddling, or even non-platonic activity for that matter, considered cheating if it is done by an alter? Is this something a person would have the ability to stop an alter from doing?
If anyone I know has alters, they have never shared that with me so I do not have anyone else to ask about how control of a physical body is “shared” for lack of a better word if a person has alters.
Is cuddling cheating for a pro (married or in a relationship) if it's a paid job?
Describe be an alter because I'm confused
@ReltvlyCanshes It is not a subject I am well versed on but it is like multiple personalities. Sometimes one is in control and other times an alternate personality is in control. I am not aware of anyone I know IRL having this condition but it was brought up a few days ago in a different thread.
@starrynitecuds Good question. The married pros I know have all said their partners of aware of their work and are okay with it. There certainly could be pros where that's not the case.
I was kind of thinking that. I have now idea how that would work, i think it's something that would take a lot of patience and understanding to navigate. I think medical advice would have to be considered as well because you'd not want to cause more issues. That's just tough to imagine
@IronLemon do you want to share your input with john ? If your alter takes control of your body for cuddling while you are in a relationship, is that cheating
@JohnR1972 I remember your participation in that thread.
@JohnR1972 the question sounds pretty tangential and not practical help in this case.
I appreciate the answer you have @xandriarain
A lot of interesting responses under this thread. In my own head, it boils down to if you gotta ask then you know the answer.
Someone else’ opinion on something like this is a distraction at best.
I'm just happy to be single right about now
@WriterGF almost every pro I've chatted with has admitted to me that they're in a relationship (married, dating, etc.), but always tell their clients they aren't.
@starrynitecuds I don't doubt you. But that is not the same as cheating on their partner, as long as the partner knows they are cuddling for money and it's staying platonic. Deceiving clients is a different subject.
I feel there is no clear cut answer for this one as it would depend on the limitations and boundaries between the people within the relationship. So it can really vary widely as every relationship is different. There are some people who feel that their significant other speaking to the opposite sex is cheating. Then there are those who feel it is only cheating is sex was involved. Then you have to consider the psychological aspects of it in consideration for aspects concerning honesty, communication, etc.
I personally am a Pro cuddler, in an open relationship with a pro masseuse. For my situation specifically, none of this is cheating for multiple reasons. We have open communication about it, with consideration for discretion for client safety. We will ask questions if we feel the need, but with the understanding to not ask if you can't handle what you might think is the worst possible reasons. We both deal with close contact with clients. But also, we are swingers. So we tend to be a lot more open minded about this sort of thing. At the end of the day, the intimacy I may provide during a cuddle will never compare to what I do for/with him. We have spoken over boundaries and that sort of thing. There's been some discomfort on both sides concerning what we do for work, but we speak on it and work through it.
Ultimately, it is on the conscious of the person who knows their relationship boundaries, and whether they choose to respect them or not.
Unfortunately, we do also live in the day and age where people getting controlling and possessive and think it is healthy respect when it's really super toxic. At that point, that person needs to evaluate whether the relationship is worth it or not.
@chicky If you are both swingers may I ask why there is discomfort over platonic cuddle work ?
@IronLemon , does your ban of @JohnR1972 from that discussion also extends to him discussing it in another thread?
Yes, unless she agreed to it.
@bookofcolumba makes sense, because then the banned person can just start the same conversation in another thread. Thanks
@Mike102
I have found that people will look for any excuse for it to be ok. Ask the spouse of the one who’s doing the cuddling how they feel about it, if it was done in secret.
And just because someone says their wife knows, or any other excuse - doesn’t mean it’s true. We need to decide if we’re comfortable getting in bed with an online stranger to begin with because anything is possible. Who knows what is the truth? One man I cuddled with when I was a Pro admitted to being married but that his wife was paralyzed. He told such a sad story. I felt sympathetic and agreed to cuddle. I found out later through an unexpected coincidence that the whole story was a lie. In fact everything he told me about himself was untrue. You never really know.
@GuyverGordon just trying to understand the social etiquette of the threads. I now suspect John is trolling by brings up a thread he wasnt allowed to look at, which is something I honestly forgot
...a thread he wasnt allowed to look at...
There's no such thing.
One forum user cannot disallow another forum user from looking at, or commenting, on a thread.
@Mike102 No, it's because of his behavior in that thread. And in general.
@WriterGF Your answer is spot on
I think it’s all about intention and how it makes you feel. Especially how you would feel if they acted the same way you would.