How to handle an erection?

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  • [Deleted User]Unknown (deleted user)
    That's a cool concept actually regarding the free half hour especially if it's a first time with a client. Some clients may need a little time to feel comfortable etc
  • [Deleted User]Unknown (deleted user)
    edited December 2016
    I did a search and that one little question was the only thing the original poster ever posted on the entire cuddle comfort message boards. He also never left anyone Karma. So it appears to me that all he needed and wanted from this site was to ask a question about boners. Sadly since his profile was deleted, he missed most the replies and advice.
  • [Deleted User]cuddlesofcurves (deleted user)
    Oh.. then your probably right. :/

  • [Deleted User]cuddlesofcurves (deleted user)
    Maybe he got cold feet... well never know though
  • [Deleted User]cuddledingo (deleted user)
    edited December 2016
    @Morpheus - haha I didn't even realize I did that. But seriously, great for you if you say you never have because you've avoided the stress and potential embarrassment or fear of being shamed for it. I worked for Playboy a long time ago and never got an erection at work, but once I was eating a burger and a boner just happened. It wasn't even that good of a burger. Point being nobody can control when it happens despite their state of mind. It's random and biology plays a huge part as well. Such as body size, age, bmi, etc can all affect erections. If you're a bigger guy it could just be that your body has to work harder to get an erection and if you're not doing a sexual activity and willing one, then it will never "accidentally" happen. No reason to claim it's more about guys being pervs than being anxious. Guys already have a difficult time proving they're not pervs and it's great you've established yourself as safe, but don't make it even more difficult for other guys to reach that status by belittling their questions and concerns. It came across as you making yourself look superior and that's a form of bullying.

    @Brandi - I wasn't offended. It's pretty impossible to offend me. But it was upsetting to hear Pros say it's immature to ask and to be discreet about it as if it's something to be shameful of or getting an erection means you're a pervert and shouldn't cuddle. It's biology and uncontrollable. Granted I don't have much experience cuddling with strangers nor do I have the unique perspective of a female who's dealt with creepers in this situation, but I feel as a guy that it's more sketchy to try and hide a boner during a cuddle rather than just discussing it at the start and both having a plan to make sure comfort is paramount for both of you. Trying to hide it could easily result in a sudden movement that causes a "poke" and then that could be misread as intentional and creepy. I'm not sure what anxiety case you're talking about? I never mentioned anxiety...

    @aiko - Yes, it was There's Something About Mary. "Never go on a first date with one in the barrel!" Ha! Great scene. But rubbing one out doesn't stop erections from happening. Nothing does, really. I know you were just making a joke, though, and for the record I did laugh at both your comments b/c they were too absurd to be what you actually think (I hope) :)  http://goaskalice.columbia.edu/answered-questions/can-erections-happen-when-youre-not-sexually-arous...

    @cuddlesofcurves - Thanks for getting it. And cool about the break time plan if it's needed. I looked into going pro a year ago and one of the things I read in my studies was about taking a few minutes break if the male got an erection. Boners go away after a few minutes usually, but comfort for both parties is key so discuss it beforehand and have a plan.

    Ultimately cuddling is about comfort and if you're worrying about erections or hygiene or what to wear or what not to wear or how to touch or where to touch or whatever else goes through our minds then you're not comfortable. Discuss these things and find a comfort base line before you start and then relax and explore the cuddle clouds together. Boners even occur between heterosexual men in cuddle and/or massage situations. I also believe discussing these things prior to cuddling could weed out the immature and perverted because you'll see how they react to the topics before you're into the session and he's poking you in the back. I'm all for joking and laughing through a session and in life but there's a time and place and despite the initial poster deleting his account, this question still has merit and deserves a respectful answer because some guys are too shy to ask and really want to know how to handle the situation before it... arises?

    Ha, okay call me a hypocrite for making THAT joke :)

    @Cuddledingo
  • [Deleted User]Aiko (deleted user)
    @cuddledingo have you had any luck on this site yet with pros or non pros?
  • [Deleted User]Unknown (deleted user)
    What does it mean if someone is obsessed with erections?
  • [Deleted User]cuddledingo (deleted user)
    edited December 2016
    @Aiko - Nope. But you knew that from our private messages a few weeks ago didn't you?

    Deleted my long-winded reply. I'm happy to share it with anyone who wants to know, but figured let's stay on topic in this thread :)
  • [Deleted User]Unknown (deleted user)

    @Cuddledingo ...  I enjoy your common sense. "Ultimately cuddling is about comfort and if you're worrying about erections or hygiene or what to wear or what not to wear or how to touch or where to touch or whatever else goes through our minds then you're not comfortable. Discuss these things and find a comfort base line before you start and then relax and explore the cuddle clouds together. "

    I suppose the concept of communicating with the individual that you are embarking on cuddling with is a novel concept for some, as well as the idea of feeling out ( no pun intended!) the individual's emotional and mental maturity level.

  • Communication is key, I agree.  Everyone should know what the boundaries are up front, certainly.

    Now let me ask this . How does a healthy normal male cuddle with a nice lady (broad definition of nice) and not get some kind / level of sexual attraction / reaction?  Isn't cuddling physical?
  • [Deleted User]Unknown (deleted user)
    edited December 2016
    Its not the reaction. Its how 2 adults agree to handle the reaction. Personally for me ... cuddling is physical with the chemical(oxytocin) component.  Sexual attraction is physical, but equally if not more so very much mental.
  • [Deleted User]cuddlesofcurves (deleted user)
    @cuddledingo

    No problem! Asking questions can be hard on this forum! I'm a very free thinker and I think you might be as well.. so I got you! :) I think ignorance can cause a lot of judgment and misinterpretation of a given situation. Especially when communication is frowned upon by some.
  • [Deleted User]Unknown (deleted user)
    lol @cuddlesofcurves said "hard"
  • [Deleted User]cuddlesofcurves (deleted user)
    @morpheus
    Omg lol!how funny!
  • Has anyone made the joke yet about using two hands?
  • [Deleted User]cuddledingo (deleted user)
    Thanks @Arielle :)

    @cuddlesofcurves I haven't asked any questions yet, I feel it's a good community though and if one comes up it'll be answered well. Ignorance definitely causes awkwardness and discomfort. Communication is key in every situation.




  • Been a while since there's been a boner thread. Lolz!

  • @Spuds you're a troublemaker.

  • As a female cuddler, I can under stand how it could happen and would take no offense. How you go about it would influence my reaction. If you just straight up apologize and don’t try anything funny like subtle moving to mask dry humping, keep your hands still and in an appropriate place....it’s whatever. Ideally try to turn a bit so I’m not just like getting poked by it lol. But really I feel like expecting this comes with the territory and both parties should be mature about it and almost just laugh at it if it’s genuinely an involuntary thing

  • [Deleted User]Mmart (deleted user)

    I don't think you should handle an erection.

  • Not sure if anyone has ever brought this up, but there are protective garments that can be a proactive step. Something called a Modesty Pouch, aka a Cock Sock, can be put on before the cuddle starts. It can even be tied to the leg to keep the rising from happening. I have no idea if that's uncomfortable, but it's what actors wear in sex scenes.

  • edited February 2021

    If you are over 70 and get an erection I think you pop a cork and celebrate. Otherwise, take a gun course—keep the safety on, lock it away and don’t randomly shoot it off. Above all else, be careful...you could shoot your eye out.

  • PS: I realise that being concerned about your erection while cuddling is a common concern and it’s valid every time, but what’s with the resurrection of dead threads lately? I thought we had a rule against this?

  • [Deleted User]Handsomewheels (deleted user)

    @Catloaf I've noticed it's a certain couple of guys that are resurrecting these threads. They will respond to things from 2016 for whatever reason.

  • @Handsomewheels We had an issue with this as recently as 2019 and early 2020. They come and go but the last person who often resurrected dead threads is no longer here, so I would assume that was part of grounds for their ban. Be careful @spuds...

  • [Deleted User]Handsomewheels (deleted user)

    @Catloaf and also @Rocket_Man. Be very careful.

  • [Deleted User]Mmart (deleted user)
  • If that happens to him then I ignore it. There's a lot I can ignore apparently or not even notice. My bf at that time a few years ago said a naked drunk guy ran right passed me once and I'm like when did this happen? And he's like you missed all the crazy running and screaming like a 2 feet away from you like a minute ago? And then my friend comes by and said that drunk was weird. No idea what crazy scene happened that day but whatever.

  • Out of curiosity, would masturbating before getting together with someone to cuddle help the situation? Asking for a friend.

  • @ChefKate How many times? Asking for a tube sock.

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