Men and women here want to get from point A to point B: getting time with a cuddle partner. There are many forums posts about cuddle etiquette, expectations, messaging, enthusiasts or professionals, etc., but I haven't found a thread or FAQ regarding safety and mindful actions prior to and when meeting. These suggestions apply to any social media site, not just here. If I missed a prior post or relevant thread, my apologies. @respectful - has this been discussed before?
Here are some things to keep in mind. Mileage will vary, based on yours and your prospective cuddler's circumstances.
Profile Considerations
- Use limited or anonymous PUBLIC profile information. Example, list a general metropolitan area, not a specific city. Be mindful of your personal information: birth date, address, banking info, passwords, social security number... you get the idea (at least I hope you do).
- Check your privacy settings in your profile. If you have pics in your profile, do you want everyone or only friends to see them?
- Use unique photos. Through the power of Google, it's easy to do a reverse image search. If you don't want to be found on social media (Facebook, Instagram, etc), then don't use a photo you've used there.
- That said, do use Google reverse image search on prospective cuddler pics. Nothing wrong with verifying who he/she says they are.
You've internet-connected - now what?
Through luck, persistence, and being consistent, you may have connected and messaged back and forth with a prospective cuddler (pro or enthusiast). A few things to keep in mind prior to physically meeting.
- Establish expectations and logistics. Plan on a meet-and-greet in a public space: coffee shop, mall, library, restaurant, bar, lobby, etc. Where will you meet? Where will you be? How will you recognize each other (hat, brooch, colored shirt/blouse, Mickey Mouse ears, etc.)? Decide mutually how long your first meet-and-greet is going to be.
- Use a disposable contact number. Google offers free voicemail/text accounts. Use them.
- Figure out where you draw the line. Do you accept any kind of drink (alcohol or not) from a stranger, or will you only get a drink from a bartender or barista? Are you wiling to talk about work and career or are you comfortable with generalities or other topics? Figure out your lines and stick to them. If someone asks you if you sleep naked, you're not meeting them: full stop.
- Tell someone your plans. Establish a time of when you'll be home after your meet-and-greet. Ask a friend to check-in with you at your established time to make sure you're home safely. Plan on a text or call to a friend before and after a planned meeting.
- If you've gone this far, but have any reservations whatsoever prior to meeting, trust your instincts. If they quack like a duck, walk like a duck. You know the drill. Take a hard pass and move on.
- If you've made it this far and still want to move forward and meet, then have an exit strategy. Planning to meet includes planning how you leave. Drive your own car, park away from the venue, know how much time will be on the meter for parking, etc.
Meet-and-Greet with your Cuddle Pro or Enthusiast
- Have fun. If you've taken reasonable precautions (such as the aforementioned lists), then relax a little and remember the goal is to enjoy yourself and have fun. One can be careful and still have a good time.
- Time. Keep it brief. If you both decide to extend the time because you're having a great time, then do so. If you're meeting in public and there is paid parking, you have that hour window as an ultimate exit strategy/excuse if you need or want to leave.
- Personal belongings. Take all your items with you, don't leave anything (drink, wallet, phone, purse, etc) out of sight or out of your possession, even if you're going to the bathroom.
- Stay aware and alert. This should be self-explanatory.
- Ask general, not personal questions. This isn't about dating and finding a soul-mate or spouse. Focus on talking about interests, hobbies, musical tastes, movies, etc., but be mindful of questions that could make someone uncomfortable or suspicious about intentions.
- Listen. Respect yourself and the other person for their time, space, and privacy. Ideally, you're both courteous.
- Get consent. Ask to touch or be touched. Don't assume or expect a hug. Don't feel obligated to give one if you're not comfortable doing so. Communication is your friend.
The First Cuddle
Maybe you met at a coffee shop, clicked, and both agreed you wanted to cuddle. Maybe it's the same day, maybe it's another day and time. When you do make plans for your first cuddle, keep these in mind:
- Hygiene. Be clean and showered. Brush your teeth.
- Clothing. Wear clean, loose and comfortable clothing. Taffeta, chainmail, leather, burlap, and ox skins are not recommended.
- Enjoy. Enjoy yourself. Enjoy each other. Whether it's 30 minutes or 3 hours, have a nice time with your cuddle partner.
- Backup. Tell your BFF, cousin, hotel clerk, etc., to check in on you at an agreed upon time. Discuss this fact with your cuddle partner prior to settling down to cuddle.
Good luck in your cuddle adventures.
**Edit: consolidated prior threads
Meeting strangers/safety
Tips on Staying Safe?
Thanks to @quietman775 's links:
Vetting Requirements
Meeting Publicly First
Doorman
Female Cuddling Safety