lost1

I guess i have no idea. I used to have a couple of really close friends, but when I got hurt, most friends I had went away over night. Then there were 2. A couple I had known forever, who last summer split, divorced, and the female half and her family, which I was close to, totally cut me out. The guy moved on to a new woman and I am lucky if he returns a text in the same week, if at all. The other friend is about 15 years older, married, and recently moved a few states away. This left me looking for someone. I know nobody, and can't get out much. When I do, well, most women see my wheel chair. I had a few crushes at local places, but they all showed themselves to be very different when you weren't paying them to play host, waitress or whatever. It was then that I decided that I likely would need to pay for any company I might have in some way. I tried to find a cuddler on craigslist, but was flagged as creepy or looking for a prostitute, while expressly stating that I was not looking for such. I am honest, very shy, mostly quiet, and not used to female company, or any company at all. It is so bad, I tend to feel physically worn out after spending time around people. I really don't know what to say here, I only know how I feel.