GeniuneGuy

This was an unfortunate experience… We both originally agreed I would travel 75 minutes, do the hour cuddle session, and 75 minutes back to return to Manhattan on Monday, which I was fine with that arrangement. However Tbearsmall suggested the day before he would travel to me, which is why we had the Sunday, 5 minute voice call. I explained I was petsitting, and he said he was allergic to cats, but having the cat in a separate room would be fine. 5 minutes after the call, I did as I said, and texted him the exact address that Sunday. I don’t understand why he’s saying he was vague about the address on Monday’s Penn Station arrival…

On Monday, he was a few minutes behind, which was fine. I picked up something from the corner with a luggage bag, and I killed some time to get Tbearsmall a large hot peppermint tea, since it was freezing. He only waited for less than 15 seconds upon arriving on site, as I was next door. I greeted him, shook his hand and apologized for my freezing cold hands.

I did not say ‘follow me’. We walked like any 2 people would walk to the elevator. A lady in the elevator was listening to the back & forth conversation, which in the beginning - I didn’t mind. But as we three exited the same floor together, she was still listening to his loud questions. I reminded him, that this wasn’t my space, I normally don’t host and even though I had the permission of the owner, I had to be mindful of neighbors. And he was free to ask me whatever, but in the corridor or lobby was not the ideal space.

Despite me trying to move things along, and not make an even bigger deal than it was, he would not let it go… at all… He said he was 66 years old, and was free & could ask whatever he wanted and whenever he liked. He raised a valid point that how was he suppose to know about neighbors, which I on the spot agreed with him, and I said ‘that’s a fair point’.

It was at this moment, he begun raising his voice like we were a dysfunctional married couple… The neighbors could clearly hear him, and he even admitted “Now, I’m yelling!”. It was like a scene from a sitcom… But I was actually horrified, and said to him that this was a bad idea, and this was bad energy, and he stormed out with threats to ‘tell the doorman’ (tell what, I don’t know).

10 seconds later, he returned - I opened the door - he forgot his umbrella (again sitcom)… I took this opportunity to calm him down, I tried to be the bigger person, and I apologized. I even hugged him and he ‘accepted’ (or so I thought).

We continued and we both tried to salvage the agreed cuddle session, and chatted about other things. I was extremely moved and upset to hear from him about the loss of his mother about a week prior to all this… I can’t imagine that, and honestly I have nothing truly harsh or negative to say about him. During the session, he was appropriate, he warmed up in spirit, but he also had to rush to a lunch that he was running behind on. I later texted him that day, telling him that I hope he wasn’t too late for his lunch, and to keep his head up with everything he was going through…

Yes, it is all about communication - absolutely, however that reference of communication I was talking about - is in line between two people. I agree with him that nothing ‘illegal’ or nefarious would be happening so there ‘would be nothing to hide’. However, had I gone to his home - I none-the-less would need to show some awareness of my presence in a cuddle session, with the presence of his family if that were the case of him hosting… That’s all.

I had suggested meeting with him again, but for coffee to discuss things of deeper, significance, about life, beliefs, philosophy and so on. And I told him to take things step by step. Everything I said here was to offer my point of view in this misunderstanding. Irrespective, this was a sensitive time for him, and I upset him at a sensitive time in his life… I harbor no ill-feelings, that is not my nature, or at least I try not to. The coffee still stands :)

Regardless, I’d like to take this opportunity: let it be known for the future, my friends on here, myself, and the reader of this: We should have a level of understanding between the two cuddle-session participants, while at the same time a level of decorum is needed at the hosting space (surrounded by others that have no idea of what cuddle session is…) Some sensitivity and self-awareness at the physical space of the host, should be the default - especially surrounded by other non-cuddle people. That. is. all. :)

It's easy with energy like WburgBrooklyn. He's very present, an easy-going and great guy!

With Ryan's NYC visit, we were able to connect. Very nice and genuine person that was great to cuddle & relax with. He also smelled pretty great! And took pride in his hygiene, communication skills and respectful demeanor. Looking forward to when he visits again!