how to shut down attempts at dry humping?

Morpheus

I'm going to be captain save a bro and say, @greenearth you did nothing wrong. 

Atreides

Im late to this thread but I noticed it started back in January so I don't have time to read back through all those messages!  I have been with several professional cuddlers on thesnugglebuddies.com and never tried dry humping someone. It seems like it wouldn't be very effective anyway.  Certainly wouldn't give a guy much of a release so why would anyone do it?   People are so strange!!!!!!

Morpheus

Don't worry about reading back, you didn't miss much.

Anyone asking pros to cuddle nude should be banned. That is against the rules of the site.

Morpheus

@masterofcuddle I couldn't agree with you more

Morpheus

If someone on here has a nude fetish, whatever, it's all good, no judgement but it doesn't belong on this site and they shouldn't be asking pros to cuddle nude.

I_am_Polylover

No one to my knowledge has asked any professional cuddlers to cuddle nude.  @MrSoloDolo took something that was said to him by one person and twisted it into an accusation that I had asked more than one pro to cuddle nude with me, which is a total lie.  I have addressed this subject with Mark to his satisfaction.  @MrSoloDolo, if you think I am slandering your name, then contact me with a court date.  Otherwise, I would prefer that you not address me or talk about me in any of your communications, even if you do not mention me by name.

I_am_Polylover

@Atreides, contrary to what MrSoloDolo stated, you have missed quite a bit, and apparently so has he.  This a topic that is quite sensitive and upsetting to some professional cuddlers, who have tried very hard to communicate just how upsetting it is to them, only to have more upset piled on them by those wishing to belittle their position.  So yes, you have missed a lot.
♥Jim

I_am_Polylover

@greenearth  Most Nudists I know would probably take exception to nudism being called a fetish, but you call it whatever you like.  I would appreciate if from this point on you would keep your nose out of my business, including giving me any unsolicited, and unneeded advice, and/or your opinion about anything concerning me.

Morpheus

Jim, you seem to be directing a lot of anger at me when I did nothing wrong. I didn't ask a pro to cuddle nude. I didn't report you to mark. I didn't slander your name on the forums. I politely asked you to stop slandering my name and now you're talking about court? 

me2

Not sure how to tag people on this. This thread makes me really sad. To FireandBlue and the other cuddlers who have shared their negative experiences, I'm so sorry that you've had to deal with any of this. Also, thank you for being willing to share your experiences. I've read some comments on here that "complaining about it does nothing". I'd like to firmly disagree with that. I think there was a lot of good information shared here on how to handle the situation. I would also hope that it would show people who think it's ok to push the boundaries that it's not. Probably a good thread for new people to read.
I also noticed to opposing sentiments. One that pretty much says "it's rough out there, deal with it". The other that says "we shouldn't have to just deal with it, change is possible" I think both are true, though the "just deal with it" side could be a bit more tactful.

I think these issues run very deep and are difficult and important to resolve. I think part of the problem is that teaching people about touch and boundaries is not a regular part of raising children. Boys and men are also often touch deprived which warps their mental and emotional stability as well as their relationship to sexuality.

It seems that things such as this website are at the forefront of dealing with some of these issues which means there are a lot of messy issues to deal with.

The accounts on here are heartbreaking. It sounds like clear boundaries can't be reiterated enough as well as getting malicious people off the site.

There was one account here of a cuddler working through communicating with a client about boundaries through a period of a few sessions that seemed successful. I can't help but think that getting that lesson while also receiving nurturing platonic touch has to have been extremely healing and valuable, as well extremely beneficial for that man's relationships.

I think it's important to keep in mind what we are trying to work towards as a whole in this community. In a group of people trying to connect through platonic touch it is especially important to deal with violations seriously.

This is one of the reasons men are so touch deprived. Many (probably most) of the women around us have dealt with touch violations and are wary.

Being a person who needs alot of physical contact its very draining and depressing dealing with being looked at as a potential predator and figuring out how to navigate boundaries coming from this position. Sometimes I get tempted to be jealous of women, that they don't have to deal with this issue. Then I remember that my experience with this is nothing like being violated and/or harassed, and that my little problems stem from the major problem that women are harassed and violated quite often.

I guess I went on for a bit. Thanks for everyone who has helped with the conversation and is attempting to promote healthy platonic touch in our crazy broken society.

WOW @me2 !   That was absolutely perfect, I could not have said it better myself and you addressed so many things that needed to be said in a very neutral way. Thank you!! 

 Thank you! Thank you! If I'm ever out in your neck of the woods are you are ever here in mine, I would love to give you a hug! 

me2

Aww thank you!

I_am_Polylover

@MrSoloDolo You launched a personal attack on me, so yes I am angry. Now you are once again implying that I asked a pro to cuddle nude with me. Please cease and desist with that lie. You are the one throwing around the term slander, so if you continue to think so, then you should sue me, which is why I mentioned court.

We just want the rules of this site to be upheld. Inviting a swinger group to a cuddle party and emailing pros to partake in nude cuddling events doesn't line up with the rules of this site. If you are into that stuff that's great just take it to another site. That is all we are saying.

Morpheus

I launched no personal attack on you. I'm really not sure what you're talking about.

I_am_Polylover

There are plenty of people who will disagree with you. Let's wait to see what happens with the moderator. I reported you for continuing to bring up the lie that I asked a pro to cuddle nude with me.

Morpheus

Who did you report? I never said you asked a pro to cuddle nude with you.

I see nowhere on this thread where @MrSoloDolo mentioned any names in relation to nude cuddling. I found it very interesting that @I_am_Polylover became defensive immediately.  These threads can be so interesting to read. 

greenearth2

I think it's safe to say that this thread has gone way off topic.   
Like way off into another galaxy 

Makes sense. It seems as if a few of the posters are from another galaxy. 

funandadventure

Dear All, Can we get back on the post please. the problem is DRY HUMPING, this is when a person gyrates there body in a sexual action to get more stimulation and may be climax, We have been told some of the ways this can be shut down.
The pillow idea is a good one,
The clear no that makes me feel uncomfortable.
The why are you doing that are you unwell.
The talking to try and understand what caused it to start.
The problem is there people, so how can we handle it as a group it is our problem as a community we need idea's and solutions.
I have spoken to the Masseuse's we have in the hospital and it is a major for them and they are not in such close contact as we are. They have the quick flick as do the nursing staff which stops arousal.
Lets work on this one.
Love John and his trees, Auckland NZ.

 What is the quick flick? Like literally flicking it? 

I've never heard of , a website " username ", using a court system , to compel another to cease something . Perhaps there is a " cyber court"?
do keep in mind you may have to actually sustain damages to try to collect though 

funandadventure

Dear Fire. yes you are right, if you have your nursing manuals it should in there but not for general public use.
Often used in bed baths situations,field Hospitals, look it up on net under sexual suppressants, sexual stimulant suppressants.
Love John Auckland NZ.

 Probably because I work with pregnant women and women in childbirth, my specific training has nothing to do with the male genitalia  

Morpheus

What percentage of clients dry hump pros?

If you read this thread you would guess that just about all of them do. 

Morpheus

That's my point, @poonie threads like this make it out like every single client does it to every single pro during every single session. Is that really the case? Can some pros please speak on this?

greenearth2

I don't think you're seriously suggesting a way to prevent dry humping is to damage a guys penis ?    First of all.  In dry humping I believe it's under clothes.  Second. That would be a dangerous escalation that is only needed if simply telling the client don't do that isn't stopping the dry humping.   I mean if he won't let you get off the bed to get away from it and end the session is about when you should start doing things like that.