how to shut down attempts at dry humping?

I would like to say that I think it's great of you cuddlers to actually look for solutions to this problem rather than simply run for the hills. I'm not certain I would be so gracious.
Thanks for keeping the cuddle community alive.

I have a story but I'm so not saying anything else in this thread!!

Ninsiana

I really like this thread and glad I thought about looking into older threads. So much of this information is amazing advice, at least for me since I am very new to this and a non-confrontational person to begin with. I feel dealing with the business aspect first and defining clear boundaries is extremely important, and learning gentle, yet firm reminders to diffuse such a situation. Gonna bookmark this thread. Thanks everyone ^_^

Pandablergs:

electric shock hand shake buzzer. You can get one at Amazon .
when he starts his joy motion get him on the back of the neck 

snuggle554321

Each time I have to ask for money upfront I have a difficult time with it. Then I remind myself that since I am a pro, if I want to be able to help more people, I need to be able to make a living doing this. I also remind myself that I am putting myself in danger. Military  personnel get combat/hazard pay. It's a lot easier to think about getting something along the lines of combat pay than anything else. Also, what you're doing is touch therapy. Therapist get paid for the therapy.  Once you get the financial business out-of-the-way you can focus on the therapy aspect!  It's also a  great motivator for clients to not push boundaries when they know that the session can end and they will simply to lose their money if they don't stop.  

Ninsiana

Completely agree @snuggle554321, it is therapy and I like to think of us pros, as therapist. Because we can really have a dramatic change in someone's life which is both amazing and not to be taken lightly in some regards. Besides taking care of all business mumbo jumbo makes the session feel so much better I would imagine hehe .

Clients that act inappropriately should be reported and left bad karma. 

@snuggle554321 while it's good to be cautious, you shouldn't keep focusing on the negative. I wouldnt compare this to hazard pay or keep reminding yourself of the hazards. 99% of the cuddlers on this site are great people. Just get to know you're clients a bit beforehand and everything will be ok. Focus on the positives.

Ninsiana

For sure @masterofcuddle, everyone I have ever talked too has been really nice. After getting to know my client from exchanging messages is what you gotta do. For the most part, the cuddlers on here are really just looking for a genuine connection in their lives ^-^

Just tell them.before hand no dry humping no private part touching i mean if they can't control themselves they don't need to have cuddle sessions this is not for getting laid if they want to get laid this is not the place so so hell no they can go hump the wall or something but not me

snuggle554321

@Masterofcuddle  I don't think I keep focusing on the negative, although I can understand how it might seem that way.  I used to be a military spouse so the thought of combat pay is a much more natural way for me to think about hazards than probably a lot of other people. I'm also used to having to think about dangers ahead of time because of being a military spouse, teacher and other things that have happened in my past. LOL Kids can get into some seriously creative mischief. LOL  (especially if field trips are involved) When you plan ahead and take safety measures then it's a lot easier to keep your cool if things happen to go south. You already figured out how you would handle something as opposed to freaking out when you can't think clearly.  To me it's not about negative thinking but more about being prepared. Typically the more prepared I have been in my life the less I needed the preparations.  

I also meet any new clients in public 15 minutes before the session. That way we can talk and get a feel for each other. It's just another simple safety precaution. 

As far as any clients behaving inappropriately, either through touching or actions, I simply suggest that we try a different position or hold onto their hand and move it to an appropriate place so that they can't continue to reach for an inappropriate one. I also verbalize that "I'm not comfortable with" something when I'm not comfortable with something. 

funandadventure

This one needs some new thoughts and brought to the attention of new members.

John and his trees

Morpheus

I think in the past, it's been addressed in a negative manner. We should use positive education moving forward.

Positive approach:

positively no dry humping. We are humans, not dogs. 

funandadventure

Dear All, This is a problem and both of you are right, many of the new members do not go very far back in the posts so many will have missed this, hence I would like it to be upfront again.
How can we educate new members and it is our responsibility as a group to show it is a problem and happens.
Love you all John Auckland NZ

Before booking a session, I send the client agreement form to everyone just to be clear of  the expectations and my boundaries. When I first start a session with a brand new client, I like to spend the first few minutes or so getting to know them and answer any questions they might have.
Understandably sometimes a client might get aroused from certain positions and start to get touchy. I change positions and move their hands back to a neutral area. I also tell them to please don't touch me there, it makes me feel uncomfortable. It does take a certain level of trust. I find that if you scan your clients well before hand and set clear rules, most people are genuinely nice.

funandadventure

@CuddleBunny88, Dear Cuddle this is good positive help, Thank you
John

Morpheus

Cuddlebunny and John, thanks for the positive input. This is what we need more of :-)

As everyone who I've already spoken with, met in person or already attended one of my gatherings already know, I suggest a small travel pillow. No thrusting, humping or groping. 

Going over the rules of the site and my own personal boundaries before we ever meet, in writing and again in person. Explaining non sexual PLATONIC cuddling and no "extras" and that I will end a session after one warning. 

Personally i have very little patience for grown adults who push psysical comfort boundaries, I don't think there is any excuse once they have one warning. It's predatory to keep trying once a person has set a firm boundary. 

Buck

When cuddling, I take the lead and tell my cuddle-mate that I would like for them to have a good time.  I know they won't enjoy if they have to be constantly on guard where my hands go. The better time they have, the better experience I will have. I guess it never occurred to me that this situation would ever happen. 

That might be the best way to explain it.  "We both will have a good, relaxing experience, as long as neither one of us needs to be on guard!" 

I think @Mark has said before in another thread, most of the men who post here very frequently are not your average sample. Only one person hasn't pushed boundaries in my total experience. It's still pushing a boundary if a hand "accidentally" goes in the same place five times and then a joke is made about it instead of taking it seriously when told no. 

Unfortunately it only takes a few to sour the barrel but it IS a common occurrence. And something women often are faced with (cuddlers and in everyday life). Which is just wrong.  So as much of a positive spin as everyone wants to put on it, it's a very negative feeling to be groped and humped. 

Nothing wrong with being firm and direct. Like I tell people and even my children all the time, "i'm not going to sugarcoat this for you it's not a bakery"

Morpheus

I think it would be amazing if there were some tutorial videos linked to the site that show approapriate touching vs inappropriate touching.

Inappropriate touching: groping anywhere that would be covered by a bikini or kissing.

Appropriate touching: pretty much everywhere else non sexual is fine. It's meant to feel close and safe as long as no boundaries are crossed. I go with whatever feels natural.

https://youtu.be/SO2-tMzG43Y

greenearth2

Just tell them no dry humping allowed and you get one warning after that you get kicked out and never booked again.   
That should stop most except the predators who need to be stun gunned or something.

 And this one… Truly pisses me off because why cover a news story if you are going to completely invalidate and mock the person on television that you took the time to interview?

 https://youtu.be/PIO4isdX9jc

greenearth2

Yea it seemed fine until the end when those assholes just laughed about it like it was totally stupid etc.   
honestly.  There's no point talking to the media about cuddling.   I would never ever interview with anyone about it.   Cause I know most mainstream people won't get it. 

You girls are kinder than I would be. I would stop and send the guy on his way.

pmvines

Dry humping is only fun when its consensual, otherwise its just plain creepy! 

I_am_Polylover

Jean and Fei, in the first video, are the ones I got my consent training from.
♥Jim