@MsCarissa23 - I'm confused. Why is having a car important? Some people are poor and can't afford to add a car payment to their expenses right now. E-scooters have gotten popular for short distance travel.
@MsCarissa23 I'm also very confused why someone not having a car is looked down upon so harshly. Ouch! You're cuddling them, not dating them.
Think she is from L.A., where traditionally everybody has to have a car.
Where I live (London) I would guess that no more than half the people have a car. And the mystery is why those of us who do, do.
@WriterGF , regardless, my "you're cuddling, not dating" comment stands. Metro Detroit barely has public transpo, companies will get together and actually lease buses from Flint (50 miles north of Detroit) to dependably bring in their staff.
@AllAboutSoul - It should only be, "Will they respect my boundaries? Do they know what the word platonic means?"
Anything else sounds like they might be trying to use this as a dating site.
If you don't vibe with the person, you don't have to see them again, but making complaints about it in a public forum is unnecessary.
@Mike403 exactly right, it's degrading.
Catfish profiles are often new and don't have many/any friends or karma. They're banking on YOU taking their bait.
Hey, it ain't like I haven't been trying to up my karma game over here.😋
Catfishers will not want to call/videocall. Ever.
Well due to my hanging around on another social media site, reading about other women's experiences the whole "video chatting thing" many optioned out of it due most men's dreadful habits of appearing in front their cameras...Sighs, how can put this delicately.🤔
Got it!💡
DUE to most men's dreadful habit of SUDDENLY appearing in front their cameras INAPPROPRIATELY UNDRESSED FROM THE WAIST DOWN!😔🙄😑😵🥺☹️😧😖😣😞
NO, after reading about those experiences elsewhere I LONG AGO DECIDED on the unshakable rule of: NO SKYPE! NO KIK! NO SNAPCHAT! NO TIKI TOKI! NO VIDEO CHATTING OF ANY KIND, EVER!😌
If you DOUBT that I don't look like what I look like, then either arrange to meet me in person somewhere publicly or move along. It is what it is!😉
On the car thing, if you live somewhere rural and don’t have a car, it does bring up the question why. You kinda just have to have one, unless it’s a special circumstance and you have to walk everywhere or get rides from people. The instances I’ve encountered local are people that don’t have the capacity mentally to drive, or couldn’t afford a car and insurance. I’ve also encountered a couple of reasons on here, one guy couldn’t drive because of a traffic violation, one was dui, two others were having car trouble or not reliable cars to make the distance. If you grew up this way, used to a car, used to having to have a car, you may not think about city dwellers or using Uber or Lyft.
.
As the song says, "L.A. is a great big freeway ..."
@Mike403 Calm down and breath. I wasn’t judging anyone. I still talk to him. Actually, I’ve updated my post, as I typed the wrong violation. I have talked to one with dui (he deleted his account) and one with a traffic violation which made him lose his license for a while, which I still talk to. Not judging, just stating facts.
@CuddleHugs01234 - I tend to think about the entire flow of the conversation which stemmed from somebody judging someone for not having a car.
@Mike403 In mine I’m explaining a rural perspective, not judging a person for their lifestyle/ or lack of car. Another reason is vision impairment. If someone says they don’t drive or have a car, the question does come to mind, why, but it’s not a judging why, it’s just a question, in my case. I think looking at who is saying what is important. Maybe one person was judging, I was just stating a different perspective.
@CuddleHugs01234 - I get you. I tend to respond on public forums differently than in one on one conversations knowing that other people will be reading it.
The moral of the story is(for anyone reading this): Don't judge people just because they don't drive.
@Mike403 Okay. Look at writer of it, read it carefully, and maybe wait a few minutes before responding. I waited a long time to put my view on this topic, because if you are rural and pretty much need a car to do anything, you do ask “why.” So I do get where original writer was coming from.
People have very different views; one person that lived an hour away from me said it was too far to drive. Maybe because he was in a city. Meeting in the middle would’ve been only thirty minutes. Some other people drive much farther than that to cuddle. Different perspectives.
Who’s in Chicago and needs some cuddles? I got a 🚗 haha
That's true @CuddleHugs01234 . Since I grew up in your general area (middle Tennessee) not having a vehicle tends to be a bad sign around here for the reasons you said. Even most low-income people who don't have anything else tend to have a vehicle of some kind. Everything is so far apart it is a necessity. When someone in my area doesn't have their own transportation I want to know why. When someone who lives where there is sufficient public transportation doesn't drive or have a car I don't think anything about it.
You know, the one thing I noticed is the person who posted about this said the guy had said he had his act together, but then didn't have a car. How do we know he didn't claim to have a car and turn out to be lying? Maybe that's what all the upset was about.
True.
When some tells you that they're on a military mission and they cannot call you, or video call you, that's Alabama catfish. I totally agree with the post. In this climate of meeting people, some people are overly sensitive to their appearance and feel that they should hide their identity. Either way, It's still deceptive and unnecessary.
Got catfished twice in one day. Ugh.
@Sideon It's unfortunate, but it happens too often. I got scammed once on this site. I paid the travel expenses for the person to come, and of course, I was blocked a few minutes later.
Unfortunately, this isn't discussed enough. It's often the same conversations that come up here, but not this one.
Be cautious of those with very low karma, even though it might penalize new members who might be good people. Sadly, I don't see another way around it.
Another solution is to reserve a booking on the site and have a video call first. It allows you to see if it's the right person.
In the worst case, you can always cancel.
I actually had someone want to book last Saturday night. He has a profile pic. Here out of town. First of all, I'm already leary of out of towners, but didn't have that "gut feeling," so was going to go through with it. I asked him to send me a photo of himself holding a piece of paper with my name on it. "I don't feel comfortable sending a pic like that, " was his response. So mine was, "Ok. Then I no longer feel comfortable coming to cuddle. Have a great night. " I've learned a lot over three years trying the online dating thing. If they can't provide, they get denied. Plain and simple.
The year...ummm...early 2000s. I was on a community site that was meant for Spanish and Hispanic people. I made a friend on that site, Jenny. Gorgeous in every way possible. She lived maybe 20-30 minutes away which is kinda far to a teenager with no license.
Long and very painful story short, I developed feelings for a catfish. It took me years to even admit it to myself. She would call me yes but only gave me pix that she had posted already. Never wanted to actually meet up.
Lesson learned.
Now, It's hard for me to trust that any body isn't lying to me or making fun of me in some way.
This has been my TedTalk..
@MatureCuddlez That’s a great tip! Thanks!
@Jova114 - I completely understand. I had a similar experience in the early 80s. I was in high school when a young woman started calling my house in the evenings to talk to me. Her voice sounded like she was around my age but this was before the days of caller ID so I couldn’t look up the phone number. I knew she had to go to my high school because she knew things like what I had worn that day at school.
She was friendly but I always felt like I was being set up for something. She also had an uncanny ability to call my house when I was alone which made me think she lived close to me and could see our driveway to know what cars were home when she called. My school was fairly small and I had pretty much ruled out her being anyone in my grade. I talked to her several times over the course of about 2 weeks (I was lonely and she was friendly).
To make a long story short, my instincts (that I ignored for 2 weeks) were spot on and thankfully I started listening to them in time because I was being set up. Something like that can severely damage your ability to trust other people.
@JohnR1972 Wow! Thank you for sharing. I'm sorry that happened to you. It's crazy the lengths people will go to mess with someone for no reason. "Some men just want to watch the world burn"
@Jova114 - I think of that quote often. The girl who was calling me turned out to be 1 grade below me (a Sophomore when I was a Junior). I had never had any interaction with her or done anything to her. Apparently she was bored and I was a random target of opportunity for a twisted joke.
@JohnR1972 Smh That hits close to home. I can't stand that.