Seems like it would be pointless to catfish something like this. Youde meet up and I know if I met someone different than the person I thought I was talking too, I would absolutely turn around and leave
@Nobodieshero catfish do their harm without meeting.
Even if a catfish went as far as meeting, many vulnerable people would find it difficult to just walk away.
Also, its surprisingly difficult to identify somebody certainly from one photograph. If they turn up wearing the same clothes and conjure up some explanation involving an old photo, new hair and makeup, it could be surprisingly convincing.
Catfishing IS very common in ever aspect of life. It’s very narcissistic and these people get off on it because they have nothing to do better with their time then to be deceptive and play people. I was a victim of a cat phishing scam after speaking to this person that committed this crime for over a year. I am working through back channels and I’m finding out a lot of information that they so carelessly left out in the open even though a majority of this cat phishing scam had been concealed. They are being located and I will press charges against them and what they have done since across state lines and the amount of money involved it is a federal crime and will be charged as such.
I myself feel like a catfish, because I’m such a homebody and shockingly neurospicy 😂 The pictures and personality seem at it’s, but it’s all me
This and anything else in life has to do with honesty. People have to start by being honest with themselves about who they really are, a lot of people now days can’t even do that.
My experience has been that people hide behind a false image and people outside of those people need to be more speculative when things don’t add up.
If you communicate online for maybe up to 30 day and there is no communication on the phone, FaceTime, or video chat. It’s time to put your guards up. If you can’t meet for something as simple as coffee, it’s time to pull you head out and limit contact and move on. LIFE IS FAR TOO SHORT.
Meeting in public is the best, a “Catfish” will never show up. If you have a profile picture, expose it. Then BLOCK that person. As for Professional Cuddling, it’s just my opinion based on MY own life experiences, if you can’t get a real phone call or video chat and it’s ALL about money, RUN. Money does not ever determine a persons good intent to provide a caring service, it it’s really about the caring and compassionate service then real proof would be put forward. Yes, I can agree with Professional Cuddling, however, this his is not Amazon. Same goes for non professional, people may be introverted or have their own reasonings for not moving forward,
This event wasn’t catfish ( no endless asking for money) , however set up a session with a nice and attractive African American woman. When I opened the door she was in fact a Caucasian.... in other words, take photos. I said good bye to her as I don’t like being lied to and I figure if someone lies about their race then who knows what I can trust.
Another incident... likely catfish as her profile was deleted. We where chatting a bit and she says she is a money manager... she then immediately asks where my investments are and how much I have invested. Without waiting for me to answer she TELLS me that she wants to manage my accounts.
Bye bye
Another one that bugs me is a full payment day prior to appointment. Nope no way nada
Report, Report, Report. If in doubt, Report. It's the only way we can get rid of them.
I had a catfish booking this week I'm a pro here. I had a feeling from the start he was a catfish.
I have not had a catfish here. I did in another app. All the same methods. It's made me a little jaded I must say.
So one of the things that people who catfish will do (and I'm sure this has already been covered, if not common sense) is that they amass a cache of pictures and/or videos that they will use to trick others into believing that they are the person they portray.
Therefore, I suggest the plan to help sort out these out:
When talking to them, ask them for a picture under very specific, explicitly-stated conditions that sound like absolute nonsense. Get creative with it - the more outlandish you can get with common household items, the better the results. One of the things I personally like to do is to ask a person to take a picture of themselves with a banana on their head and hold up a sign saying "I FREAKING LOVE RAINBOWS" or something akin to this.
This serves a couple purposes:
1) It puts people into a position where they must take a picture of themselves at that moment and send it, meaning: 2) It guarantees that people who are genuine people may appreciate your creativity and may actually laugh from the request (pending they have that kind of humor), and the outcome will probably make you laugh as well, thus creating a sense of rapport between you and the other person (bonus points if the person who is being requested is generally of prim/proper character. 3) People who catfish will invariably not have something such as this on hand, and typically cause push-back from the catfish. They will end up getting mad at you and/or attempt to gaslight you, saying either "you're not serious", "Stop playing games", or something along those lines.
I may be dumb, but I don't get this whole "catfish" thing, What is the point? If someone misrepresents who they are, sooner or later that will come to light. Naturally, if someone asks for money and someone else gives it to them, the giver only has themselves to blame-and given the attention to situations like this, a person would be foolish to send money to a person that they only know through online encounters. I really don't mean to shame the victim, but a little personal responsibility needs to be taken. While I can empathize when someone is taken advantage of, they really should know better...especially if it happens more than once.
I guess what I am trying to say is, who is really getting harmed here? Obviously, if one were to meet someone here, then meet them in person, and that person turns out to be not like their picture shows, or misrepresented in another way, that's definitely not a good thing-but it is a chance you take. At that point one could just walk away. If one invites a person into their home without properly screening that person, it seems to me that the fault lies with the invitee. I think that properly screening a person is a normal part of meeting people online.
To put it another way-if you were meeting a person in public, would you invite them into your home without having at least some sense of who that person is?
Perhaps i am missing something. That is the reason I can't understand this whole "catfishing" thing. I don't see the "catfisher's" advantage here. It seems to me that if a person were to misrepresent themselves (as to looks, age, gender or so on) the "game" ends upon meeting in person...who would engage in such a thing, knowing the other person would end the meeting upon seeing they were lied to. As far as getting money from a person, everyone should know the risks of doing so, and if they choose to accept that risk, they have no one else to blame but themselves. I know that may seem harsh, but this is reality...one cannot expect everyone in this world to be honest. If that were true, we wouldn't have a need for a penal system.
I wouldn't step into a roadway without looking both ways....but if I did, I must accept the risk. People on this site are not vetted by the site. It is a responsibility that one must assume when meeting others here (or online in general.
Is there something I am missing? If so, please let me know. I may be older, but never too old to learn something new (I hope )
@cuddlerinCT I think the answer to the "who really gets harmed by catfishing" question is...it depends. It depends on the motive of the perpetrator. One fairly common thing I have seen (not on this site, per se) is catfishing as a means of robbery and assault. Again, not saying I've ever seen it HERE, but it is always a concern when meeting someone unknown. For example, man goes to an apartment address provided by a woman he met online. Instead of meeting the nice lady he expected, he is greeted by three guys who are waiting behind the door with violent intent. I saw a news story some years ago where a guy in just such a situation was forced to drive around to ATMs and withdraw cash.
This kind of thing can happen in the classifieds (you are meeting someone to buy an advertised item), dating sites, you name it. Some catfishers will pose as escorts, knowing the victim is less likely to report the crime. I myself had what might have been a "near miss" on a cuddle site (a now defunct one). She hosted. We had a nice cuddle. She kept pressing for me to host our next session at my house. I demurred, as I don't host until I know someone pretty well. She pressed so hard I got suspicious and did some research. Turns out she was a fugitive from justice, featured on a Sheriff's Most Wanted list in Georgia for violating the terms of her parole. She and a male accomplice had been convicted and imprisoned for ... wait for it ... armed home invasion.
Finally, I'd be careful that your wise precautions about calculating risk not degenerate into victim blaming. If victims had "no one to blame but themselves," the penal code would hold victims responsible for the crimes they suffered, rather than the perpetrators. Still, your overall point is well taken: most of what we call catfishing on a site like this is for much lower stakes. An annoyance at most.
@quietman775 - you make many good points.
@CuddlerinCT - I agree with quietman that it really depends on the intent of the perp. At a MINIMUM the perp is playing with someone’s emotions and the people most likely to fall victim to a catfisher are those who most desperately want to believe someone is taking interest in them.
30+ years ago I used to deer hunt and sitting in a tree stand in late fall you can see a big buck at a good distance. They are cautious and seem to have a 6th sense about danger (or more likely just a highly developed sense of smell). Anyway, they are extremely cautious… until mating season. During mating season, they throw caution to the wind. That is why many states set the dates for deer season to avoid deer mating season - it is unsportsmanlike like to take a deer when it is so vulnerable.
YES - I fully realize this is a platonic site and people are not deer. But the principle still applies. When someone is lonely / touch deprived and a friendly stranger online pays attention to them, makes time for them, makes them feel like they matter, that person WANTS TO BELIEVE the stranger is who they say they are. The victim of a catfishing attempt may subconsciously ignore warning signs that someone less lonely would pick up on as red flags.
Some people catfish for money by establishing a one way emotional connection (from the victim to the catfisher). Sometimes they just do it for morbid entertainment because they like manipulating people for fun. Regardless of the reason, they can do tremendous harm to vulnerable people.
There is a gut wrenching storyline in the 2012 movie “Disconnect” about a couple of high school cyber bullies who catfish a classmate “just for fun.” That movie brought tears to my eyes because it so realistically portrayed the cruelty some people enjoy inflicting upon others, especially people who are a little different in some way.
Well I've met a few who definitely used pictures when they were younger and slimmer. It didn't bother me though. They were still warm and friendly. I guess they used them to draw people in. If it bothers someone else I suppose they won't be a repeat.
Not on this site, but a dating app, I was catfished by a guy. His pic was a clean cut guy with no shirt and he didn’t have any visible tattoos. When we met he was covered in terrible tattoos (he bragged about getting them in prison) and had long greasy hair and a hobo beard down his chest.
When I declined a second date, he became irrationally angry and threatening. Yikes!
@CatGirlColorado - Yeah, I'd stay away from that crap. Meet guys the old fashion way.
I was once catfished, not on this app but a dating app, and I always thought if I ever got catfished I would just walk away but it turned out my “catfish” was actually cuter than his posted pics. His excuse was he was a detective and didn’t want his actual pics up due to the nature of the job. In any case, it was a nice date so, plot twist I suppose lol.
@Mike403
I wish I could meet people the old fashioned way.
But I have no idea what that is. I’ve tried meeting guys at the dog park but my dog is antisocial and not helpful at all. I’ve tried the grocery store but the young kids that work there see me standing around the produce aisle and ask me “Are you lost, Ma’am?”
Also, I’m fairly clueless if someone is flirting. I usually don’t realize it until days later when they are long gone. I think everyone is just friendly.
So I’m just on here looking for some nice conversations and cuddling at this time. Some friends would be nice and I’ll worry about dating someday.
@CatGirlColorado - No luck with me either, so why try? Having high-functioning autism (formally known as Asperger's Syndrome) doesn't help either... so I'm just focusing on other things such as school.
I have experienced two separate occasions now where men who book a session with me come over and try to get physical and when I say no, they come into these forums and sites to complain and make up stories to get their " revenge" . They are butt hurt and don't believe everything you read people. Happy cuddling to those who actually enjoy it and aren't out to ruin it.
Most contacts I have on dating sites are money scams. Catfish I see as someone who wants to play pretend as someone else to get the good feels of attention. Regardless of which definition we use I have not had any issues on this site whatever. It has been refreshing to not, yet, come in contact with either kind of funny business.
Why won't the site implement an ID verification? Take a picture with a shoe on your head to get your profile approved lol
Why won't the site implement an ID verification?
This is a small social media site based on an ethos of helping each other.
Instagram and LinkedIn don't do compulsory ID verification, and neither does Cuddle Comfort. An optional scheme would be too expensive, since obviously the site would not be able to charge for it.
I'm New, what a great read and comments are Hilarious! ComfyHandler...
Ok, here is my afternoon brain fart on this subject. Perhaps some reputable people on here could set up a “voluntary verification process” whereby they would review the identification of people who submit to this process and then that individual can post on their profile “peer verified” , or something.
Perhaps they could even start a thread that lists “verified” profiles. They could maybe even make a paid “virtual session” part of the verification process and thereby compensate the verifiers for their work, and give Cuddle Comfort their usual cut of each session.
Something like this might provide a mechanism for cuddlers and pro’s alike to verify that a potential cuddler is who they say they are and feel more comfortable
Or, we could keep doing what we’re doing, which works just fine for me….🤗
This is why I prefer a short video chat to confirm identity before meeting. I cuddled with someone last year and he suggested it and it worked really well. It was brief, pleasant and eliminated any surprises.
I had a catfish on here. Something felt weird. Our conversation seemed forced. When she got to the hotel I asked her to meet me in the bar downstairs. She kept asking to meet in room. After 10 minutes of this I cancelled. She was banned the next day, and not by me!! I have started sending this to everyone when we make arrangements:
Perfect I will have my schedule locked down by next week! A few rules before we move forward
It has worked well.
@relaxtoday221 the most interesting thing about your post is the way that you handle genuine clothing requests.
Clothing requests is a topic that comes up on the professional cuddling board from time to time, usually from new professionals who have received a dubious request. It's nice to have a post to point them to, which shows an example of how reasonable and genuine clothing requests are actually made.
I'm with you on zips!