Why is Pro/paid for even an option on here?

jbirdbirdjbirdbird
in General

The site’s “about us” description literally says this is a way to get cuddle needs met for free but then theres this pro option and “pro” people soliciting people to cuddle them for money. I have nothing against body work, sex work, or the like but when it’s not an explicitly stated and explained option or that the culture of this site has basically completely changed and there is basically no one (at least in my area) not charging then what are we even doing here, what is this site even about anymore? I’ve literally never gotten to cuddle anyone because everyone (that I’d feel safe cuddling) charges and I don’t have the money for, nor to I want to perpetuate a culture of paying for getting such a benign human need met.
If this is a pay to play site then it should be explicit. Period.

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Comments

  • [Deleted User]steve1995 (deleted user)
    edited April 11

    It says in the “About us” section “ We created a platform so you can get a cuddle, whenever you want one, at no cost.”

    This should get updated.

  • [Deleted User]steve1995 (deleted user)

  • ordinarycudzordinarycudz

    Welcome to capitalism where basic human needs are monetized!!

  • MonkeyNeedsAHugMonkeyNeedsAHug
    edited April 11

    Please.

    CC was created to help people find a free cuddle partner. And men who were willing to cuddle other men didn’t seem to have to wait. But the process of finding women to cuddle took way too long for some men’s preferences. (Not sure what you expect Cuddle Comfort to do about women and their pesky autonomy.)

    Later, as a reaction to the gender imbalance among people looking for strangers to cuddle, the site added a pro option. Nobody owes you a cuddle. Nobody is forcing you to pay for one. And your sense of entitlement isn’t likely to help you find one.

    🙊

  • ordinarycudzordinarycudz
    edited April 11

    Or we could all argue in the comments on the cuddle site like a bunch of monkeys.

    @ordinarycudz - It's been some time since this came up so I'm going to let you off with a warning. But the Stricter Rules on Political & Drama-Driven Posts sticky topic at the top of the board, which you are assumed to have read, makes it clear that the default sanction for a 'popcorn' post (which is inciting discord) is a two month forum Timeout, and that guideline has not changed. If there was to be another one from you it would be a three month timeout. (Grabs popcorn) - @CuddleDuncan

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod
  • penguin34penguin34

    @jbirdbird I understand your frustration. I have been on this site for many years as an enthusiast at first. Now a professional for a few years as well. I could explain the reasoning behind why I became a pro, but I don't think this is the right time or place on this particular discussion. 🤷
    I genuinely hope you find the cuddles you are looking for. 🫂

  • SpicyNSweetSpicyNSweet

    I find it interesting the OP mentions his safety, but not the safety of the women on here.

  • mccuddlemanmccuddleman

    It’s called capitalism and whenever, wherever, companies can find a way to make a buck off of people they will. I mean, come on, rarely do you find people who do things from the heart anymore. Not to mention have you seen how the cost of some of these pros has gone up. Ridiculous. And to put the icing on the cake, most of the ones calling themselves pros don’t even have a clue of what it means to cuddle. Simply put this has become a way for some people to make a living., And that’s fine. I have no problem with that., But let’s not call it something that it’s not. And this could easily be proven. Take the money out of it, and you will watch the majority of them leave. Because they don’t really care about the cuddle. They do, however, care about what they can put in their bank account.

  • ordinarycudzordinarycudz

    Mccuddleman… you hit the nail on the head. I agree. Some people make a living off of this. Good for them. However, take the money out of this and the lack of authenticity and lack of genuineness floats right to the top.

  • MonkeyNeedsAHugMonkeyNeedsAHug
    edited April 11

    @SpicyNSweet

    I agree with you.

    No. - BlueIris

    I guess I communicated that poorly, though.

  • penguin34penguin34

    @mccuddleman I appreciate that you may have made a blanket statement, that pros 'don't care about the cuddle, just what they can put
    In their bank account ' I cannot speak for anyone else. But personally, this is very far from the truth. For this reason, I don't take last minute bookings, I prepare myself, physically, emotionally, mentally. I take the time to find out what the cuddler likes before the session. I get the right scented candles, music, snacks. I Make sure they aren't allergic to my perfume, laundry scents etc. I find out their personality, are they shy, Do they want me to break the ice? Do they want to chat while cuddling, Or do they enjoy serene silence. I work really hard to create a positive cuddling experience, for all sorts of different kinds of people, Including people with additional needs, autism spectrum, selective mutism, People with a physical disability. ( Just to name a few!) Please don't make assumptions, professional cuddlers have different approaches and standards. 🤷☺️🫂

  • mccuddlemanmccuddleman

    @penguin34 so you are correct if I made a generalized statement. But the statement I made is the norm not the exception, and you, my friend are the exception. I too was a pro at one point because I do healing work and I know the importance of touch from a spiritual aspect. I stopped being a pro because I realized that Healing goes both ways and that although I’m providing something, the person who books with me is providing something as well so for me, it was a conscience thing.. Meaning I make enough money as an entrepreneur. I didn’t need this as another form of income. However, with that said and how I traveled the country, I can tell you that the majority at least that I have seen are not doing what you were doing.. Again, I stand on the fact that you are the exception not the rule.

  • sausalitosausalito

    If a female cuddler was free shed be getting a ton of dms and requests to cuddle. The fee is basically cause theres a market for it.

    Ive found a few pros that seem to genuinely form a professional friendship just like i would with my barber that i still pay. Theres one that has left the site a while ago that only charges me half her rate of when she was on the site and its great.

  • SelfMadeJaySelfMadeJay

    @jbirdbird Apparently the ice cold, harsh truth needs to be applied here. EVERYTHING in life comes at costs and transactions, rarely is anything ever free. That's basically how business is and for the female members here it's their prerogative if they want to charge for their services. They know they're in demand for this type of activity and they have the power to put their price on the supply.

    It's not like pro services are the only option here, there are enthusiasts if you happen to find one around your area but I have to be real with you, everything comes at a price and anything can be monetized. Complaining about it doesn't change a thing so you'd best adapt to it. This may be me being a city kid but it's not like any of the pros here are charging that high of a rate as long as you manage your time and money well.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    For the avoidance of doubt, the topic of this thread is Cuddle Comfort as an institution and its approach to cuddling. It is not about the whys and wherefores of professional cuddling. Please proceed accordingly.

  • mccuddlemanmccuddleman

    @SelfMadeJay i’m an entrepreneur myself and make my own money, but I live by the statement made by Luther Vandross, the best things in life are free and that’s just a fact. Just because we pay to live on this planet doesn’t mean that that’s right or that that’s the way it’s supposed to be. And this is coming from a city kid myself, New York is in the building.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    i’m an entrepreneur myself and make my own money

    So you like to choose what should be free, but you don’t do your hustle for free? That’s interesting in an entitled sort of way.

  • Sheena123Sheena123
    edited April 11

    @TheFunCartel lol you know better. I’m not allowed to be a pro cuddler AND enjoy it. How dare I?! 😆😂

  • BlueIrisBlueIris Mod
    edited April 11

    I'd like to know where all the women are going to come from that are going to be forced to provide free cuddles all over the world any time of the day or night to those who think they're entitled to it. I believe that's been tried before, and it's illegal.

    Website rhetoric is for advertising purposes and is not intended to be taken literally.

  • Mike403Mike403

    Finding a cuddle from an enthusiast takes a lot of time and effort. Many guys find it much easier to just open up their wallet.

  • mccuddlemanmccuddleman

    @TheFunCartel yes I make my own hustle so I don’t have to feel like a slave working for somebody else. But I’m also smart enough to know that I shouldn’t have to make my own hustle considering that the Earth provides everything that I need. It’s only man in his ignorance that he puts a price on everything and makes everything transactional. I’m smart enough to know that it shouldn’t be like that, which is why I stick by the statement that Luther Vandross said., The best things in life are free. And why would I make that statement because I’ve actually experienced that in my life.

  • mccuddlemanmccuddleman

    @BlueIris for those that don’t wanna do it Free their prices should be reasonable first and foremost. Secondly, there’s a thing called community service, you know the people that you see in food banks because they genuinely want to help people. I’ve done it myself and still do quite a bit. Don’t get paid, don’t ask for pay why because it’s called being a human and helping out my fellow human being. But my bad that’s something that a lot of people living in a capitalistic society will never experience in their lifetime and that’s the sad part. But carry on.

  • Mike403Mike403

    @mccuddleman - When something is too expensive for me, do you know what I do? I don't buy it. Complaining will give them no reason to lower their prices if others are paying it. If nobody is paying it, they will be forced to lower their rates if they want to remain in business. That's how capitalism works.

  • SleepySheep1SleepySheep1
    edited April 11

    @mccuddleman

    I'll provide an alternative explanation.
    I used to be an enthusiast. It was great, but I almost exclusively cuddled women as the process of vetting men was longer and also many got the impression after a few sessions that it was something other than platonic.

    Personally, I never had an issue with how much I paid for the service, when I did pay pros, but I digress, your area may just have lesser-qualitative individuals, so I won't speak to that, just the fact that your perceivance of good pros being "rare" may be biased based on your area.

    Anywho, I found that when I did cuddle men, even when it was a safe and "good" session the cuddling and physical closeness was often mistaken for, or used as, an opportunity for emotional venting rather than mutual connection. Which is not in and of itself a problem, but when this occurs regularly without reciprocity, it is draining, as I was also there for healing and connection that I was not receiving. I never had this issue with women or pros as pros were focused entirely on my comfort, and women tended to be more emotional aware and we were able to be more reciprocal in our connections.

    Emotional labor—listening, validating, nurturing, and calming another’s stress—is real work, even if it is invisible, and sometimes would even negatively effect my mental health over time after repeated sessions where I felt I was just being used as a pseudo-therapist for these individuals. This labor is often unappreciated and when unrecognized can definitely lead to burnout, particularly because my expectations vs my reality of cuddling were vastly different even when abundant communication occurred prior to meeting.

    I figured, after so many raving reviews about my healing presence, I figured that I should share my gifts and just become a Pro. Much like @penguin34 I cared a lot of about setting, preferences, utilizing tools I learned in therapy (and through my minor in psychology), to help others. And if I was going in with the expectation of nurturing for another, I could at least prepare myself to be in the right mindset for it.

    In addition, why should I not be paid for said emotional labour? Why was it expected of me to handle it for free- and I find this is mostly due to patriarchal expectations of what women should be for men, as when I suggested men cuddle with other men many were appalled or would insinuate they certainly would, if they were paid.

    I find it interesting that men saying that would not spark much backlash at all, but when coming from women it is seen as entitled and unfair. More unfair, seemingly, than women continually providing unpaid emotional labour for men and usually at the risk of being put in a dangerous situation at worse, or an unfulfilling emotional situation at best.

    Also, as an aside, very few people are "making a living" on this. It is simply far too niche. I am lucky if I have two clients a month, if that. It'd be very troubling if I solely relied on this financially, and I'm sure many others would agree. You'd be infinitely better off working as a massage therapist, mental health counselor, psychotherapist, mentorship services, etc.

    As the kids say, many of us are just in it "for the love of the game."

  • NickoliNickoli

    You absolutely can find a free cuddle friend on this site and many of us have. This will not happen over night and may require going outside of your comfort zone. You said there is basically no one in the area or that you'd feel safe cuddling. Maybe your going to have to travel further for that to happen which has it's own cost.

    As far as the people you don't feel safe with, ask yourself why. I would never tell anyone not to trust their gut but perhaps a few zoom sessions or public meetings may change your mind.

    Another suggestion would have been to make the argument you made without sounding bitter. Imagine someone who may be visiting your area came across this post. Would they be thinking, this is someone I'd love to meet up with or someone I should avoid? I wish you the best and hope you find some cuddles friend.

  • mccuddlemanmccuddleman

    @Mike403 I totally agree with you. And the constitution affords me the right to complain even when I know something is not gonna be changed. We see it every 4 to 8 years when one team’s political party loses. They have every right to complain, even though they know they’re stuck for the next 4 to 8 years. When we start taking away peoples rights to complain, that’s a problem just as it would be a problem if we start taking away peoples right to set their own prices. So I’m just doing what I’ve been given the right to do complain. And just as ones don’t have to buy the service and I completely agree with you There if I’m complaining ones can keep scrolling.

  • mauvefoxmauvefox
    edited April 11

    But what determines a reasonable price?
    As discussed in many many other threads. The market. Supply and demand. And why not factor in expenses for the business folks. I also run my own business and have the painful job of trying to figure out how much to charge. A lot of thought goes into it. If they’re getting cuddles at that price. Then it’s working for them.

    And there are people who live off grid. Make their own stuff. Grow their own food. If you want to go rough it and disappear into the wild then you can go ahead and do that. I like air conditioning. And they charge money for that.

    And people volunteering for things are not usually pressing their full bodies up against strangers. Nor would I want them to.

    And there have been efforts to get folks in need the cuddles they need.

  • SpicyNSweetSpicyNSweet

    I help people all the time. And sometimes I get paid for it. 🤷

  • SpicyNSweetSpicyNSweet

    @mauvefox right😂
    People's loneliness somehow means I'm obligated to let them touch me? Yikes.

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