About me
Low-key
I don't need constant excitement/entertainment, not a "life of the party" individual. I have trouble letting go of the past, both traumatic and blissful memories haunt me.
I'm a shining star in the workplace - I'm good at what I do and it gives me a high that I don't experience elsewhere. Introversion can cause social settings to feel daunting - but here - I'm a hero, wizard, oracle, daredevil depending on the circumstances. Performance is what is being measured - not physical attractiveness, ability to sing, dance, play sports, etc. However...the colleagues who fill my soul would mourn my death less than a few months.
I'm married, it is ideal at a glance-
but I cannot shake the feeling that I'm just a paycheck. My agency is crippled by the scenes out of Better Homes & Gardens coveted by my significant other. Pressure to provide consumes me...and expectations are always just beyond what I can attain. I could live beyond comfortably within my own means, but relentless pressure for more imprisons me in a tireless quest for overtime and advancement.
I'd like to experience physical touch knowing the cost up front. With no further obligations/expectations.
I don't want to hear "Can you..." or "I need you to..." just for this hour.
Don't ask for my credit card, or call on my mental bandwidth to answer questions that you should ask your girlfriend(s), sister(s) or mother.
Sorry, I did not hang my keys on the hook. They are on the nightsta-
No they will be fine, they're going right back in my pocket when I have to go.
My shoes? I don't even remember driving here, so I probably just kicked them off at the-
No, please don't make me get up to move them. I'm averaging 5 hours of sleep this week..just let me rest for now.
I'm sorry - it was a busy day, I didn't have time to review all of the links you sent-
Just buy one, if it sucks we'll send it back-
But they ALL review well, it's not that big of a deal.
Yes, I locked the car..
Trash is at the road..
Mail is on the counter..
No, the cat didn't get out, that doesn't happen on my watch.
Okay, make a list and I'll head out after (child) goes down. C'mon I'm not going to remem-
Please just put it on a list, that's too much stuff to just bark at me-
Of course I'll pay, is there another choice?
Look, I could have just pulled off at the park and ride, slept for an hour and told you I was working late.
.......Is this normal? Am I not made for this? Why does it induce so much stress and angst? It's not new, why does it now feel like too much to handle?