My last girlfriend wasn't the type of person I wanted to sleep with. She was someone who I did enjoy cuddling with. We would cuddle together after our dates. Unfortunately, she wanted to do more than cuddle and I continued to reject her advances so the relationship ended.
You say, in your profile, you research everything first. How in the world did she become your girlfriend when you didn't want to sleep with her? I'm absolutely stunned, baffled and more.
@SpartanGuy Maybe because he just wanted the cuddles...
@RaindropSweetie He knew she wanted a real and full relationship. He used her under false pretenses as long as he could. No respect from me.
I had a very nice session last week. It was good timing too because I'd just had the work week from hell.
I'm new to this site. But I like it so far. People on here seem to be really nice. I have not yet met anyone to cuddle. I use to talk to this guy and I thought we were having a good conversation, then he just stop talking to me and I don't know why. But I'm just looking for someone to cuddle and talk to. I hope to have my first cuddle experience soon.
I love cuddling and have had a lot of great cuddling experiences. I signed on to this site several months ago but I have not yet met anyone from here.
I recently moved to a new area so I am giving it another try here. I'm not sure how it will work out. A search only turned up a couple of people who have been active within the past four months even though i am now in a major metropolitan area (Minneapolis).
It would be really helpful if people decided what and how their cuddling experience will look like before they meet. It makes for better communication and a richer cuddling experience for both. Having that conversation early on
does not mean one party wants a relationship or something more than a cuddle. It just means both are invested in creating the right foundation for a great and potentially regular cuddling experience.
Karma is useless and I'm leery of any more cuddling. My first cuddle with a 5 star cuddler was awesome. The second time, with the same person sucked. He was rude by messaging and lining up a new cuddle person while together and lied saying it was an old friend (even went far enough to explain in detail that he told her he was busy and had to focus on the cuddle). He needed help with gas money so I gave him 40.00 to fill his tank. He complained he was sad because he wanted to watch a favorite show, so I paid for a Sling membership (as we were friends at the time for a couple months - I don't even need that app and never watch those shows) and now out 50.00 plus the 40.00 for gas. The icing on the cake was kissing me after knowing I wasn't comfortable with him rubbing noses with me as it was a trigger for past trauma. Not that the kiss was bad lol. Just completely ruined my trust of him and his claim of completely platonic cuddling. Be wary of i like warm hugs. He is not honest but sure knows all the right things to say! Lesson learned and I will not be using any karma feedback going forward or consider cuddling if gas money comes up again lol.
Sounds like you feel betrayed. You feel your kindness was taken for weakness and used inappropriately. I also hear you say honesty is important in building trust with you. And you're looking for genuine care and respect from whomever you choose to cuddle. That you feel deceived by the Karmas you used as the basis to judge the character of the person you chose to cuddle with. And that bad experience has made you feel distrustful and suspicious of the karma's you read on a potential cuddler. That moving forward you are seeking to strengthen your own judgement by trusting your gut more. Authenticity and being authentic matters a great deal to you. Is that right?
Blessed, yes exactly
Sorry. Spell check Bles
Yes, Bles. That is very important. If a person is not authentic, how else is trust built? I knew him for a couple months as we chatted often offline and he seemed legit. First cuddle was perfect and he was true to his word. The second was like a totally different person and one I would never consider cuddling.
@jb5 Keep being strong. Keep learning. And take care of yourself.
I'm reading the experiences from in forum since it's pretty obvious this site is not meant for me or my location since anyone in my location no one has answered me back and the rest are too far away to go. So unless this site changes in the future has more local people and more importantly others that would respond back then it would be different for now all I can do is read about other people experiences since that is all I will get on this site. Not much other sites out there for cuddling.
@Bob72 want some suggestions?
@Bob72 your profile is even less than bare bones. Tell us who you are, what your interests are. Do you host?
Including a better/clearer picture (ideally more than one as well) as well as completing the basic profile info would increase your chances of getting some conversations going by a lot. Nobody is even going to consider cuddling you when you don't have neccesary info down, and when you don't really present yourself in an appealing manner due to the lack of information.
You don't come across as someone you'd want to cuddle when you barely come across as a person at all. From looking at your profile they'll know essentially nothing at all, and if that's all doing they aren't going to give you the benefit of the doubt by trying to talk to and learn about you most of the time.
Why would I put that much effort into a profile on a site that's more USA based and beyond when there are hardly any canadian women in here and the very few that are would not even give the light of day....this site is supposed to be platonic yet it has same feel of a dating website where you can have the perfect profile yet you're 1 in a million chance of getting a response from a woman. Especially someone local. I work full-time and hardly get any weekends off. So travelling to far off place isnt exactly an option. Anyone if I do get any responses are only from usa or Russia or other places like that. Not exactly an option. Anyhow good luck since I doubt I'll come back in here. Unless dramatic changes come to this site that you can actually deal with local people around where you live.
Sorry you aren't having much luck @Bob72 but you do get what you give and in your case, you aren't really putting in much of an effort. Cant blame that on the site.
I used to participate in cuddle piles in college. Last year, I had a friend who would meet me in a park and I'd sling up my hammock, we'd sit side by side, sideways, head to foot, and just talk. And sometimes we didn't talk.
But I've lost all those people from my life. That's why I'm here now.
@Bob72 Aren't you near Toronto? I see some nice possibilities
@Bob72 Your profile About Me has ended any chance you had. No one wants a hostile cuddler
It's interesting how life evolves as you set your goals and standards about what you want from an experience. Too often you don't think about what you need and how that variable affect the dynamic of how you make that experience work for you. I'm in my own feelings about my cuddling experience here so far on this site. And while it's been mixed with good and bad experiences which for me is a blessing. I never really thought about what I truly needed. That's a teacher for me. By ignoring my needs I was not being true to myself nor my abilities to maintain the standards I set for myself. I was shutting out myself from the knowledge and understanding that an awareness of one's needs give to truly appreciate and learn from each cuddle experience. As much as I want to, as hard as I try to learn and grow from giving and receiving I have effectively limited my education by ignoring my own needs. And so I have to take myself back to the foundation of self love and compassion and truly define and own my needs ( whatever they are) before I cuddle anyone again. I've been investing my time in verbal cuddles. The human voice through conversation is so important to me but I totally ignored it. As always subjugating it to others time and interest. If I can't honor my own needs how can truly give to and receive from another? So verbal cuddles has really helped me to partially define and own my needs. Nothing like sharing deeply buried at times difficult experiences to a receptive compassionate listening ear. I'm growing to accept that I need own my buried emotional pain before I can authentically share my body or spirit with anyone. One way to do that is through verbal cuddles. For me a verbal cuddle is a conversation that involves two or more persons taking turns listening to each other, acknowledging each other and generally giving feedback during the communication process with each other. Maybe even validating each other. At the end of the conversation both feel heard, understood and acknowledged and hopefully connected with each other. That verbal cuddle can even include a linguistic or lingual massage. Each person uplift the other with positive affirmative thoughts, observations that may or may not lead to constructive criticism and/ or recommendations. It might just be joking or verbal teasing. Whatever words one uses to encourage or lift or support another that makes them feel good. I've been blessed to have a couple of folks on this site that truly appreciate and practice this concept. And I truly appreciate and treasure them. Through them at times I evaluate my cuddling experience even though I've never cuddled with them. So I can honestly say that the paradigm of physical touch has shifted in my mind and I'm still a work in progress. But I'm learning from my cuddling foibles that I've got to honor my needs and start where I am in those needs. Gradually build on each milestone as I learn to cuddle in different ways. And most importantly own those needs and give myself the power to effectively navigate and maintain my own personal boundaries with others in a mentally and emotionally healthy way. I know it takes time but I reflect and make changes to my approach as necessary. All the while being compassionate to myself by listening to my body and soul.
Verbosity is anathema to clarity.
@FunCartel verbosity is never my intention. Sometimes trying to express oneself may give that impression. The clarity I'm seeking is my own and only mine. I can't help it if I was cursed with the need to express my thoughts in long-winded sentences. I've made several attempts over the years to fix that tendency. I only tortured myself with negativity for most of my adult life. So I finally decided I'm going to be who I am regardless of how verbose it sounds or whether it's a poison to me being clear to someone's opinion I do not care for. Since it's a public forum I'm simply expressing my thoughts as I have them. You don't have to understand or care for them. You can interpret them how you wish and denigrade them how you choose. I'm creating my own clarity for me. That's all I care about. Thanks for the insult. Truly appreciated.
It was a tip not an insult. To be precise, it was an aphorism.
@ FunCartel Thanks anyway. My verbosity is not intentional. Self talk is. That's my conversation with myself. And at times in trying to be clear I explain myself a lot which results in my seeming unclear to others. But this post does not seek to be clear to anyone. It's unusual that people notice let alone respond. So that's interesting.
Ya know, @FunCartel, Bles has given us some good information here.
These text walls are just an online instance of a stranger talking to herself in public. Self talk. Conversation with herself. This is very helpful to know—I don't try to make sense of what the guy who wanders around downtown is saying to himself, and now I know I can skip all Bles's posts, too!
Thanks, @Bles. You keep on writing things that are clear to you and only you. After all, what else are public forums for?
@DarrenWalker I will remember that the next time you dissect someone’s post and try to logic put every single word someone has written just to stir things up. That is often your MO. I will remind you that logic and sense matter not, no matter how much sophistry you apply.