Virtual Cuddling? What???

[Deleted User]meekyeeky (deleted user)
in General

I just read on someone’s profile that they offer virtual cuddling sessions for people that are far away.. is this a real thing or a bad joke? I can’t grasp any logical concept for the benefits of a “virtual cuddling” session. Just sounds like a tasteless joke or an attack on someone’s intelligence. Can anyone enlighten me on this potentially odd event?

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Comments

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    Here is a recent thread on the topic:

    https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/14384/virtual-meeting/p1

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

  • desi_babedesi_babe
    edited July 2022

    Have you gotten a chance to look at any of the threads where this has been discussed previously? (the search tool is great for this)

  • MelancholyMelancholy

    Yea to me it's not cuddling.

  • [Deleted User]SonoraSam (deleted user)

    Yeah, I suppose if it works for you, it works for you, but for me it defeats the entire purpose.

  • [Deleted User]Btown (deleted user)

    I think this can be great for some people to meet their touch needs but to me it's a video conference of which I've had way too many while working and volunteering.

  • SCityCuddlerSCityCuddler
    edited July 2022

    I've done several video chats and I tend to avoid the term virtual cuddling. I do view video chats as a useful tool in the process of forming connections with potential cuddle friends. That's my take on it.

  • [Deleted User]Btown (deleted user)

    @SCityCuddler I think you are spot on.

  • Mare_BearMare_Bear

    It's not just a video chat if it's done right, it has psychology behind it. Find a trained practitioner.

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    @Mare_Bear This is what I've been told and I would really like to experience that.

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

  • dave31415dave31415

    I think it’s a young people thing. You’re about my age. It makes me think about those TV commercials in the ‘90 that would come on if you stayed up too late. “Exciting woman just waiting to talk to you…. Call now! (whisper voice).” A more platonic version though, no doubt. Your mom checks the phone bill, calls the number and you’re grounded for weeks. The shame lingers and ruins it for us.

  • nicoleisradiantnicoleisradiant

    When someone is in their comfy pajamas and there's nice soft music in the background and the person is just sitting with you intently. Listening to you. Having empathy. Or maybe they even know energy work and can love your nervous system more actively. Your neurons in your brain will naturally mirror the encounter even if its on video. Distance can still be a great tool. And in many ways it can create more safety.

  • [Deleted User]Btown (deleted user)

    @dave31415 Lol

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod
    edited July 2022

    @dave31415 it's not a young person's thing, it's for everybody. That association is just you. I do remember those ads though!

    Video calling is used for at least three different activities in the cuddle community. They are completely distinct from each other.

    • screening
    • online companionship
    • 'virtual cuddling' (Pretty much everybody agrees is a terrible name for it, we just haven't agreed on a better one. Currently I like 'telecuddling'.)

    To the negative vibe merchants: if you can't explain the difference between these three activities clearly, then you should be learning not talking. The negativity often arises from an inability to distinguish between "I haven't done it" and "it's not real".

    @mickey206818 as you will have gathered by now it's a totally real thing.

    Your [entirely jusified] confusion is based on very commonly accepted misunderstanding. Most people outside the cuddling world think that cuddling is essentially physical. I certainly used to think that. This is understandable, since cuddling usually involves a whole bunch of physical stuff.

    However, turns out that's wrong. Cuddling is essentially emotional. There was a discussion about this just the other day and it has come up several times before.

  • AugustKittyAugustKitty

    I don't know on virtual reality people cuddle a lot especially on people who just can't manage to get to other people around the world, sometimes the comfort that you get from someone is just enough even if it's not face to face. If you can express the care and the attention that the person needs sometimes that helps a lot more than having nothing at all.

  • TNNativeTNNative

    @dave31415 ... "Your mom checks the phone bill, calls the number and you’re grounded for weeks. The shame lingers and ruins it for us." Lol!!

  • JohnR1972JohnR1972

    @CuddleDuncan ” However, turns out that's wrong. Cuddling is essentially emotional.”

    100% agree (now). But it took me a while to figure that out when I started cuddling about a year ago. After going so long without touch in my life, my first few cuddle sessions were… confusing (for lack of a better term). They were always platonic and enjoyable but they were MUCH more emotional than I had expected them to be as nurturing touch seemed to open a floodgate of bottled up emotions. I broke down in tears more than once in my early cuddles.

    I am now in a MUCH better space emotionally after completing a months long healing journey and my more recent cuddles have been pure bliss as I have processed and truly let go of the past. All that is to say I now see how telecuddling could be very beneficial even though when I first started cuddling it would not have made much sense to me (but I still greatly prefer cuddling in person).

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    @JohnR1972 I'm very happy to hear all that! I think what happened to you is quite a common experience. It's certainly common to cry in cuddling sessions.

    Almost everybody prefers cuddling in person to telecuddling. Telecuddling is not as good because there is no actual touch, but done right it's MUCH better than nothing.

  • Mike403Mike403

    Was "virtual" cuddling ever a thing pre-covid?

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    @Mike403 yes. The first mention of "virtual cuddling" that I was able to find on the site was:

    "Anyone on here who also loves cuddling virtually? Not as good as the real thing but it's still comforting."
    xboxgamr000214
    December 2016

  • laidbackronlaidbackron

    @mickey86045

    You're right, it is a "tasteless joke and an attack on someone’s intelligence", lol... but some men can't resist giving women money for any reason imaginable. virtual cuddle sessions, cuddle text buddies, its all funny and to each his own.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    @laidbackron to quote my own post from earlier in this thread:

    Video calling is used for at least three different activities in the cuddle community. They are completely distinct from each other.

    screening
online companionship
'virtual cuddling' (Pretty much everybody agrees is a terrible name for it, we just haven't agreed on a better one. Currently I like 'telecuddling'.)

    To the negative vibe merchants: if you can't explain the difference between these three activities clearly, then you should be learning not talking. The negativity often arises from an inability to distinguish between "I haven't done it" and "it's not real".

    I'm very much looking forward to your cogent and succinct explanation of these three different activities.

  • laidbackronlaidbackron

    @CuddleDuncan

    Do you pay for any of those things? Because if you don't, then you're wasting everyone's time with your pop quizzes.

    If you DO pay for those things, congrats to you. We have differing opinions that don't require 50,000 word thesis dissertations and defense in front of a panel of peers and administrators.

    Some cuddlers also offered texting services. Feel free to write your next paper on that.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod
    edited July 2022

    @laidbackron

    Do you pay for any of those things?

    Yes of course.

    We have differing opinions

    No, no, that isn't what's happening. To be honest I'm not clear what is happening.

    I've never used a texting service. The little I know about that is all from the professionals' point of view.

    You obviously don't want to use any online services, which is cool. In this post-lockdown world I don't use any either, at least not in cuddling. I've been lucky here on CC, and I found what I needed. I hope you that find whatever it is you need too.

  • Mike403Mike403

    I don't understand it either. It made more sense when people were social distancing during the pandemic. Now why don't you find somebody local and schedule an in person session? ...but whatever works for you.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    @Mike403 for most people most of the time that would obviously be better, as you say. But there are, for example, clients who have no professionals within striking distance. And indeed even professionals with no nearby prospective clients.

    Some other people would find an in-person session too intense, and telecuddling might make a good halfway house. For others it might be a scheduling question. Lots of reasons.

    The appropriate comparison is not with in-person cuddling. The appropriate comparison is with nothing.

  • laidbackronlaidbackron

    Its definitely up to each person, and the forums aren't really friendly toward criticism of Pro's, so at the very least I think it's funny people consider paid virtual cuddling a real thing. It's not a cuddle. I'm almost certain no woman has purchased a virtual cuddle from a male Pro. There isn't even a case for it during a pandemic. Free video chats, sure. Paid video chats is just funny. Like people buying used socks and fart jars.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod
    edited July 2022

    @laidbackron

    It's not a cuddle.

    How do you know? Why do you say that?

    It's easier to understand once you've noticed that cuddling is essentially an emotional activity, not a physical one. Sure, the physical aspect is a big part of it, but it's not the essence of the thing.

  • Mike403Mike403

    @CuddleDuncan

    The definition involves physically touching.

    Comparing virtual sessions with used socks and fart jarts is way out there though.

  • laidbackronlaidbackron

    There's no touching in virtual cuddling. There's also no love and affection. My point still stands. Undefeated.

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited July 2022

    Cuddling is an emotional activity , but that emotional connection is only a part of it . The primary aspect of cuddling is touch . It is a physical activity .

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